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Preserving Wealth, My #1 Tip. Don't Get Married! (Or Maybe You Should?)

Entrepreneur21

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This is a subject that people feel really strongly about, but in the end it is all very simple:
- If you want to get married then do it but know that there are disadvantages for you as a male in the court system and make an informed decision
- If you do not want to get married then don't but know that there are also disadvantages to that.

Both decisions have pros and cons and in the end it's all about personal choice, as it should be.

I think the main point is to make your own decision and not just blindly get married(or not) because someone else says so or because it's a tradition or whatever reason you have.
Nothing in life is black or white and marriage is for sure a nuanced point.
 
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GIlman

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It just occurred to me tonight, the issue most people really run into with marriage is lack of disclosure. This was the issue I had.

Marriage is a contract, but neither party is ever presented with the terms of the contract, and many/most are not even aware that this contract exists.

I think states should draft a contract that both parties have to sign before they are married, to ensure that both parties are fully informed of the rights and terms of the marriage.

Couples could instead opt to draft their own, I.e a prenup, or if they were opposed to the true contractual nature of marriage simply opt to call it off.

People sign all sorts of contracts, all the time, and as long as both parties enter the contract of their own free will, then everyone should feel good about the union. If it doesn't work out, then at least they were fully appraised of the risks before.

Marry or not to marry? Should at least be an informed decision. And then who is anyone to judge.


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DreamsCameTrue

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The videos make really good points, and absolutely agree on everything said ......But you will see that they advocate reform to the system ( which makes more sense ) than simply abolition of marriage ( your point )

Thanks for at least hearing me out and checking these videos out.

I was never suggesting we completely abolish marriage. If you're on the slow lane or you're very religious, it could make sense to get married. Avoiding marriage is simply a suggestion I'm giving to people who are interested in ASSET PROTECTION and are interested in the fast lane. I would guess most ordinary people don't think much about asset protection, so let them get married. The fact that you're reading this part of the forum means you are interested in asset protection, so this is my best tip.


As far as reforming the laws, that sounds great, but it could take decades. As things stand right now, it's not prudent from an asset protection standpoint to get married in the USA.
 

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Thanks for at least hearing me out and checking these videos out.

I was never suggesting we completely abolish marriage. If you're on the slow lane or you're very religious, it could make sense to get married. Avoiding marriage is simply a suggestion I'm giving to people who are interested in ASSET PROTECTION and are interested in the fast lane. I would guess most ordinary people don't think much about asset protection, so let them get married. The fact that you're reading this part of the forum means you are interested in asset protection, so this is my best tip.


As far as reforming the laws, that sounds great, but it could take decades. As things stand right now, it's not prudent from an asset protection standpoint to get married in the USA.

Are you affiliated with the company that produces the videos?
 
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DreamsCameTrue

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10,000 years ago before society made up rules to live by, were people monogamous? Or was that something invented in more recent times?

The current research seems to indicate that humans are not monogomous by nature. They stay together 3-4 years to have a child and raise it to the point where the village can help raise it. But I expect everyone is gonna jump down my throat again on this one, so I'll just send you to the research. Check out Sperm Wars, The Red Queen, and The Alchemy of Love and Lust. These books break down the science of it all. The new information will make your head spin, and many people will be extremely upset when they read this stuff. I live in the real world, so I'm always happy to see solid science on this. But if you're living in a disney dream, these books will make you want to slit your wrists.
 

DreamsCameTrue

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My wife just made me 1.5K on her way home from work.

She then cold called businesses with me later at night.

Marry the right person.

Don't give out shitty advice.


That's great that you guys made some money today, but who knows what will happen tomorrow. She might get some new ideas somewhere or just get bored of you. Then once the lawyers get hold of her they will steer her in a new direction and you will have no control over that. It's possible that the lawyers and judges might collude and take all your assets over a period of a few years. There will be nothing you can do.

This risk could have been avoided by staying with your mate as a life-long partner with no legal marriage. But it's too late now, both of you are at risk.

You could have gotten that same 1.5K and all those late night cold calls with no risk. All the benefits, none of the risk.
 

DreamsCameTrue

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That's what freaks me out about marriage, as I'm on the "cusp/past due" of getting engaged (5+ year relationship, almost 29)...I'm hesitant because of becoming wealthy after I am married. I am nowhere near Fastlane, but one of my worries is how money can change people/situation/relationships. Sure, I have a girlfriend that says she supports me doing whatever, but not sure if she realizes the time & commitment necessary to get there, blah blah blah. When I get wealthy, I want to travel a few times a year, live in other countries for awhile, and so forth. She isn't the type to read, want to work from home or pursue business, or any of that. She actually comes from a small town, and wants to live the standard comfortable life. My concerns come in with what happens if I build a successful business and want to do all these things? I can't see her quitting her job, but she won't be able to travel multiple times a year then. Then we somehow end up getting divorced because of these business things, and poof, half or more than half of the wealth/businesses goes to her. These might be dumb things to stress about, but something worthy of thinking about before entering this lifelong contract I don't agree with :p

EDIT: And this...seems ridiculous

This is not a dumb thing to stress about, this is the exact thing you SHOULD be stressing about.

First off, you are not "past due." No one should be forced into a risky contract just because a certain amount of time has passed. You don't owe it to anyone to gamble all your future earnings on a shady contract such as marriage.

I recommend you do 2 things.
1- watch the full DVD of Divorce Corp, then think it over more.
2- watch it again with your girlfriend, and there's a good chance see will see that it's risky for her also, not just you.
 
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DreamsCameTrue

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That's what freaks me out about marriage, as I'm on the "cusp/past due" of getting engaged (5+ year relationship, almost 29)...I'm hesitant because of becoming wealthy after I am married. I am nowhere near Fastlane, but one of my worries is how money can change people/situation/relationships. Sure, I have a girlfriend that says she supports me doing whatever, but not sure if she realizes the time & commitment necessary to get there, blah blah blah. When I get wealthy, I want to travel a few times a year, live in other countries for awhile, and so forth. She isn't the type to read, want to work from home or pursue business, or any of that. She actually comes from a small town, and wants to live the standard comfortable life. My concerns come in with what happens if I build a successful business and want to do all these things? I can't see her quitting her job, but she won't be able to travel multiple times a year then. Then we somehow end up getting divorced because of these business things, and poof, half or more than half of the wealth/businesses goes to her. These might be dumb things to stress about, but something worthy of thinking about before entering this lifelong contract I don't agree with :p

EDIT: And this...seems ridiculous

This is not a dumb thing to stress about, this is the exact thing you SHOULD be stressing about.

First off, you are not "past due." No one should be forced into a risky contract just because a certain amount of time has passed. You don't owe it to anyone to gamble all your future earnings on a shady contract such as marriage.

I recommend you do 2 things.
1- watch the full DVD of Divorce Corp, then think it over more.
2- watch it again with your girlfriend, and there's a good chance see will see that it's risky for her also, not just you.
 

DreamsCameTrue

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Are you affiliated with the company that produces the videos?

No I'm not affiliated with them. I just watched the movie a while back and I thought it had great info.
BTW- why is it that NO ONE except Bila will make any comment on these videos?

Readers- the pro marriage people are trying to bully me around, even in the face of irrefutable evidence, and I'm sure you don't want them attacking you the same way they are attacking me....but don't worry about that, they're just randoms on the internet. Jump in and tell us what you think of the videos. Don't be intimidated by the name calling that's going on here.
 

DreamsCameTrue

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It just occurred to me tonight, the issue most people really run into with marriage is lack of disclosure. This was the issue I had.

Marriage is a contract, but neither party is ever presented with the terms of the contract, and many/most are not even aware that this contract exists.

I think states should draft a contract that both parties have to sign before they are married, to ensure that both parties are fully informed of the rights and terms of the marriage.

Couples could instead opt to draft their own, I.e a prenup, or if they were opposed to the true contractual nature of marriage simply opt to call it off.

People sign all sorts of contracts, all the time, and as long as both parties enter the contract of their own free will, then everyone should feel good about the union. If it doesn't work out, then at least they were fully appraised of the risks before.

Marry or not to marry? Should at least be an informed decision. And then who is anyone to judge.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


Wow imagine that. Sounds great, but I don't think it will happen. The legal system is reaping huge profits from exploiting the fact that people don't know what they're getting into. There's layers and layers of issues.

First off, as you said, people don't know there's a contract. I would add that they are being put under massive pressure by family to do it, and the family doesn't care if there's a contract or what's in it. They just want grandkids ASAP. The older generation has their own interests in mind, not the interests of those who they are pressuring.

The next layer of problems is that even if you do understand the contract and what you're getting into, very few people understand that the Family Court system has changed recently and they are now a full blown extortion machine! The system is invincible, and you're entering a contract that you might understand, but you don't understand what's gonna happen if you or your mate wants to get out of the contract....certain annihilation.

Who would sign this annihilation contract? Not many people if they knew the facts.
 
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Bila

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Curious ... @Esquire .... Let say we take 2 couples, one legally married, the other domestic partnership ( or wherever you call it in your jargon :)
Bought a house, 2 kids

What will be different in a case of separation for both ?
Thanks
 

GIlman

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Just like actual divorce laws it varies significantly by state, one major difference is whether the state recognizes common law marriages and if you meet the criteria as common law partners.

http://www.unmarried.org/common-law-marriage-fact-sheet/

If you fall into the category of common law partners, there is no difference.

Otherwise it's the same as a living together with a girlfriend/boyfriend except you would pay child support. Of course any property jointly owned would have to be divided, but that is dependent on title and/or who paid for what. Oh, and you would not file a divorce for property division, if you couldn't resolve the division as far as I'm aware it would fall in the tort system not family law court.

I'm not a lawyer, but have read a lot. @Esquire can clarify where I'm off.


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Esquire

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Curious ... @Esquire .... Let say we take 2 couples, one legally married, the other domestic partnership ( or wherever you call it in your jargon :)
Bought a house, 2 kids

What will be different in a case of separation for both ?
Thanks

Answering that question entails more than I care to type.

But to the point ... marriage is far more risky.

No contest.

I recommend that couples skip marriage and get a cohabitation agreement instead.

That's the safest way to pursue and maintain a long-term relationship.

The best of both worlds.
 
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GIlman

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Decision tree for getting married or staying unmarried.

Marriage and business are very similar, except relationships have the added "emotions" that we often act on, and sometimes regret. How about looking at the decision to marriage by analysing starting a business and whether to have a partner or not.

This is not meant to be an endorsement for or slam against marriage. I have tried to write these conditions in a way that hopefully will not sound biased, because they are not meant to be. If they feel that way to you, please consider the spirit and not the words describing them.

Take on a business parner
it's the only way I can precieved
succeeding in this venture --yes--> Marriage might be for you
|
| Maybe/No
|
The person is your best friend
and that is good enough for you
to make them your partner --yes--> Marriage might be for you
|
| Maybe/No
|
They promise to remain 100%
dedicated & loyal to the business
and that is validation enough to
take on a business partner --yes--> Marriage might be for you
|
| Maybe/No
|
They will have sex with you,
even regularly, if you will
make them your partner --yes--> Marriage might be for you
|
| Maybe/No
|
You expect to have to work
long hours on your business
and having a partner is
essential to keep motivated and
prevent you from being lonely --yes--> Marriage might be for you
|
| Maybe/No
|
Your family has told you it
is essential for success and
happiness that you have
someone as your business partner--yes--> Marriage might be for you
|
| Maybe/No
|
You have been told in church
and by other people you respect
that having a business partner
is the only moral way to operate--yes--> Marriage might be for you
|
| Maybe/No
|
You are old or very sick and
expect to not be around much
longer, you want to take on
a partner so you can control
who your assets go to and
don't want to have a big
chunk go to the goverment
in the form of estate taxes --yes--> Marriage might be for you
|
| Maybe/No
|
You should seriously consider
that marriage is not right for you
 

Esquire

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Here is another way of looking at it:

I think we can all agree that you do not need marriage to fall in love ... have sex ... live together ... or anything like that.

You can do those things with or without marriage ... so let's take that off the table.

But you DO need marriage if you (both) want to surrender control ... of your freedom and finances ... to the government.

Marriage is ... in the most fundamental sense ... an adjustment to your legal rights and responsibilities.

So let's assume (for sake of this hypothetical) that you ... and (whomever) ... are NOT in love ... and are NOT having sex ... totally platonic.

But you CAN still get married.

Would you do it ...?

Everything you own ... and everything that person owns ... thrown into one big pot.

Not just on one business venture. Everything. 50-50.

And if you split up ... not only do you each risk losing half ... you each might be ordered to pay the other person money for the rest of your natural life

Or go to jail.

Would you do that deal ...?

Probably not.

Not unless this other person is a successful serial entrepreneur ... independently wealthy ... or something like that.

Sex or no sex ... it is still the same fundamental equation.
 
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DreamsCameTrue

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That's a great way to pose the question Esquire.

Readers, remember that Esquire is a real deal lawyer with many years of experience. He's making a rational argument without name calling or attacking people.

Speaking of which, I'd like to thank the forum for not calling me stupid for 2 whole days. I was starting to get suicidal from all the insults on here ;)
 

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Here is another way of looking at it:

I think we can all agree that you do not need marriage to fall in love ... have sex ... live together ... or anything like that.

You can do those things with or without marriage ... so let's take that off the table.

But you DO need marriage if you (both) want to surrender control ... of your freedom and finances ... to the government.

Marriage is ... in the most fundamental sense ... an adjustment to your legal rights and responsibilities.

So let's assume (for sake of this hypothetical) that you ... and (whomever) ... are NOT in love ... and are NOT having sex ... totally platonic.

But you CAN still get married.

Would you do it ...?

Everything you own ... and everything that person owns ... thrown into one big pot.

Not just on one business venture. Everything. 50-50.

And if you split up ... not only do you each risk losing half ... you each might be ordered to pay the other person money for the rest of your natural life

Or go to jail.

Would you do that deal ...?

Probably not.

Not unless this other person is a successful serial entrepreneur ... independently wealthy ... or something like that.

Sex or no sex ... it is still the same fundamental equation.

The problem with this is that you're trying to put a price tag on something that isn't tangible (love / tradition / oath to another person / etc)... If someone grew up and all they wanted to do was marry someone and raise a really amazing family, how can you put a price tag on that?

Sure if you don't care about the title and your special someone doesn't, then by all means don't get married. But if your special someone has dreamed about it since they were 5 years old like you did a Ferrari, who are you to kill that ?

Or if it's important to them because it's important and traditional in their family. Maybe they don't want to deal with the judgement of not getting married for the rest of their lives. May not be a big deal to you but if it's a big deal to your significant other, it should be to you as well.

The value of marriage is set by the people engaged in it, not your bank account.
 

Esquire

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The problem with this is that you're trying to put a price tag on something that isn't tangible (love / tradition / oath to another person / etc)... If someone grew up and all they wanted to do was marry someone and raise a really amazing family, how can you put a price tag on that?

Sure if you don't care about the title and your special someone doesn't, then by all means don't get married. But if your special someone has dreamed about it since they were 5 years old like you did a Ferrari, who are you to kill that ?

The value of marriage is set by the people engaged in it, not your bank account.

No ... I'm not.

Sharon and I have been happily "together" for close a decade ... going on a projected forever.

I've got no shortage of love here ...

What I don't have ... is the government.

My relationship with Sharon ... is indistinguishable from anyone else's relationship (with whomever) ... with one notable exception -- what happens if we break up.

I can walk away.

No divorce here.

No alimony. No property division. No debt allocations.

Nothing.

Just walk away. Free will.

Divorce, on the other hand ...?

Pay ... or go to jail.

Bye-bye stuff.

How much stuff ...? How much money ...?

Depends on the mood of the judge that day.

No ... seriously ... it is about that scientific.

Can I put a price tag on that ...?

You bet your a$$ I can.

That's the difference.

Same love. Same relationship.

Free will.

And nothing else.
 
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Esquire

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Tradition ...?

As in ... everyone else is doing it ... so I should too ...?

You are appealing to THAT line of logic ...?

Puh-lease.

The majority is always wrong ... about everything.

Marriage is no exception.

Good for society. Not so good for you.
 

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That's a great way to pose the question Esquire.

Readers, remember that Esquire is a real deal lawyer with many years of experience. He's making a rational argument without name calling or attacking people.

Speaking of which, I'd like to thank the forum for not calling me stupid for 2 whole days. I was starting to get suicidal from all the insults on here ;)


You're pretty thin skinned for multi millionaire Who came on a forum to launch a debate on a controversial subject.
 

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Esq., I came into this as one of your biggest fans. However, this thread has gone off the rails. Your last couple quotes have been ridiculous, over the top and spawned by your own poor experience. Your relationship with your live-in is 100% distinguishable from other relationships, namely my own. Your past scars and hurts betray you. In the interest of maintaining a respectful relationship with you, this will be my last post in this thread that I can't continue to watch. I have respect for your legal analysis, respect for you as a person and a contributor to this forum, but your viewpoints on relationships as seen through the lens of your legal practice are warped. Aspects of this thread with regard to the legal mitigation have been healthy. Other aspects of this thread with regard to disparagement of traditional values are disgusting. In the interest of harmony and not prolonging the life of this thread, I'm out.
 
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Esquire

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Esq., I came into this as one of your biggest fans. However, this thread has gone off the rails. Your last couple quotes have been ridiculous, borderline delusional and spawned by your own poor experience. Your relationship with your live-in is 100% distinguishable from other relationships, namely my own. Your past scars and hurts betray you. In the interest of maintaining a respectful relationship with you, this will be my last post in this thread that I can't continue to watch. I have respect for your legal analysis, respect for you as a person and a contributor to this forum, but your viewpoints on relationships as seen through the lens of your legal practice are warped. Aspects of this thread with regard to the legal mitigation have been healthy. Other aspects of this thread with regard to disparagement of traditional values are disgusting. In the interest of harmony and not prolonging the life of this thread, I'm out.

Well ... you are correct. I view marriage as "nothing more" than a legal relationship. A material adjustment of legal rights in favor of the state.

I view marriage no differently than I would any other legal relationship.

Well ... no different in the legal sense, that is.

And you are also correct ... I have no respect ... whatsoever ... for "traditional" values.

Tradition ... the long-standing sentiments of society ... is (imho) a poor reason to adopt any line of thinking.

I prefer to exercise my own reason and judgement ... free of any social convention.

My values are ... admittedly ... very different from that of mainstream society.

No question there.

But that's part of what makes me unique.

And ... arguably ... dangerous ... to the status quo.


No offense taken Vig.

I'm a lawyer.

I argue for a living ... enjoy stirring the pot ... and relish in a good debate.

Just another day at the job. ;)
 

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Quick credibility explanation. The reason you should listen to me is because I have been coaching men for the last 10 years on women and relationships. Many men over 40 have been severely damaged by a financial catastrophe that can be EASILY avoided. This goes for women also, I'm not posting this for the men only.

The easiest way to get rich and avoid financial ruin is.....

1- follow what's in the fastlane
2- pay all your taxes
3- do not get married, and do not get divorced

As far as #3, the signs are everywhere. Marriage and divorce ruin your finances. But most people refuse to see the evidence that is right in front of their face, because they are blinded by love and tradition, wanting to do the same things their parents did.

News flash! The laws have completely changed since your parents got married. You will be wiped out for sure if you have money and you get a divorce.

I urge you to watch this documentary on the divorce industry-

To put it in a nutshell:
The laws have changed. Divorce is an industry now. There is massive collusion between judges and lawyers, and they will take all your cash and liquidate your assets during a divorce proceedings. There's no rules in Family Court. Judges don't have to go by laws or precedents. They can do anything they want. There is no oversight and no challenging them.

On day 1, you sign up for a divorce attorney and they will often put a lien on your house and other assets just in case you can't pay. The judge can then order your house to be sold to pay legal fees.

After day 1, the judges and lawyers team up to drag out the case as long as possible.

In summary, it's not that you need to worry about your spouse taking your money, it's the lawyers that will take it.

I know a girl whose parents spent $600K on a divorce, and it's not over yet!

BUT WAIT, I CAN GET MARRIED BECAUSE I WON'T BE GETTING DIVORCED!
Nope sorry, the stats just don't support this. More than half of marriages end up in divorce and there's nothing special about you or your spouse that will change this. As you grow your fortune, you also incentivize your spouse to divorce you. Do you really want to have a 50% chance of getting financially wiped out? People change, goals change, relationships end. You can't fight this, it's human nature.

Marriage is a dirty business.
Divorce is even more dirty!

Again, please watch that entire documentary, it's available on iTunes. Don't be blind to the biggest mistake of your life.

BTW I'm single so I have no ax to grind. I just feel I'm one of the few people paying attention to what's actually going on, so I wanted to share it with you here.


Edited by Vigilante as we don't permit frat boy slang in this forum.

simple

don't get married in U.S
 
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GIlman

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Doesn't matter where u marry. Just where you divorce.

So, don't get divorced in the U.S., or if you do choose your state carefully.

The reality is divorce falls to state laws which have huge variation. Some you will be on the hook for life, at a high percentage of your income every year. Stay away from states like Colorada which is an example of this (no I didn't live there, thank goodness)

edit: On a side note, I think I am personally done with this topic. People will believe what they want to believe, IMHO it's a waste of effort to spend any more time discussing.

My guess is that wanting/believing in marriage is the default (which I have no personal judgement against), and deciding that marriage is not something you wish to have is something determined by experience, either personal experience or seeing the damage to someone close to you (you can easily figure out who these people are on this thread).

Hopefully most of you will never have that experience if you are married, it is the most emotional and financial draining thing you can imagine.

But if you do, at least come back to this thread and post your experiences.
 
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GlobalWealth

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Esq., I came into this as one of your biggest fans. However, this thread has gone off the rails. Your last couple quotes have been ridiculous, over the top and spawned by your own poor experience. Your relationship with your live-in is 100% distinguishable from other relationships, namely my own. Your past scars and hurts betray you. In the interest of maintaining a respectful relationship with you, this will be my last post in this thread that I can't continue to watch. I have respect for your legal analysis, respect for you as a person and a contributor to this forum, but your viewpoints on relationships as seen through the lens of your legal practice are warped. Aspects of this thread with regard to the legal mitigation have been healthy. Other aspects of this thread with regard to disparagement of traditional values are disgusting. In the interest of harmony and not prolonging the life of this thread, I'm out.
@Vigilante, your own religious and social biases are what guide you on this topic.

That doesn't mean @Esquire has gone off the rails just because his views differ from your own.

As a moderator you should keep your childish responses to yourself.
 

KLaw

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Esq., I came into this as one of your biggest fans. However, this thread has gone off the rails. Your last couple quotes have been ridiculous, over the top and spawned by your own poor experience. Your relationship with your live-in is 100% distinguishable from other relationships, namely my own. Your past scars and hurts betray you. In the interest of maintaining a respectful relationship with you, this will be my last post in this thread that I can't continue to watch. I have respect for your legal analysis, respect for you as a person and a contributor to this forum, but your viewpoints on relationships as seen through the lens of your legal practice are warped. Aspects of this thread with regard to the legal mitigation have been healthy. Other aspects of this thread with regard to disparagement of traditional values are disgusting. In the interest of harmony and not prolonging the life of this thread, I'm out.
Wow! Talk about thin skin. Esquire brings up very valid points and because you have a different opinion and are unable to articulate why, you post the above garbage. Funny stuff. Thicken up vig.
 
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KLaw

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No ... I'm not.

Sharon and I have been happily "together" for close a decade ... going on a projected forever.

I've got no shortage of love here ...

What I don't have ... is the government.

My relationship with Sharon ... is indistinguishable from anyone else's relationship (with whomever) ... with one notable exception -- what happens if we break up.

I can walk away.

No divorce here.

No alimony. No property division. No debt allocations.

Nothing.

Just walk away. Free will.

Divorce, on the other hand ...?

Pay ... or go to jail.

Bye-bye stuff.

How much stuff ...? How much money ...?

Depends on the mood of the judge that day.

No ... seriously ... it is about that scientific.

Can I put a price tag on that ...?

You bet your a$$ I can.

That's the difference.

Same love. Same relationship.

Free will.

And nothing else.
@Esquire
If Sharon (your ten yr old partner and the one you want to be with forever - i know - my words not yours) woke up in the morning and told you: marry me or I'm leaving you. What's your play?
 

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@Esquire
If Sharon (your ten yr old partner and the one you want to be with forever - i know - my words not yours) woke up in the morning and told you: marry me or I'm leaving you. What's your play?

For the record ... Sharon is not my "ten year old partner" ... I like my women slightly older, and with a tad more experience.

But I think I know what your saying. ;)

What's my play ...?

Stand my ground. That's my play.

I'm NOT getting in bed with the government.

Fortunately ... Sharon has no interest in getting married (either).

No need. We just live our lives ... Happily ever after.

If faced with a marriage ultimatum ... my advice to you would be ... let her go or call her bluff.

Or compromise ... and get a cohabitation agreement instead.

All the benefits of marriage ... None of the risk.

Otherwise ... Plenty of fish in the sea.

And if she insists on a wedding ... well ... provided you dont live in a common law state ... Just make sure the guy who says "by the powers vested in me" ... has no powers.

Your little secret. ;)
 

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