Kind of Depression, Analyzing my life untill now

[Gabriel]

Hi everyone, my first post here (yes first strong post right here hehe) I'm a 18 years old argentinian been lurking on the forum for a few weeks. I have been living alone since my 17's and I am med student also. Last 2 month I'm having a mild depression, things that happened are affect me to much, I though it was weird or not.

For a long time, I was the "I don't give a F*ck about anything kind of kid", yeah, " so badass", but now thinking about it, I was not. I was to absorbed into playing MMO'S 8 hours a day, fapping myself multiple times a day, a being an arrogant phrick. "Hey I can talk 2 languages (espanish as native, english 2d language) being only 16" Ha, I wished I write like a 6th grader. Though everything has changed since the beggining of this year when I entered into med school. I started reading Victor Pride blog, (Who took me here) Stop fapping, stop watching TV and drinking, I haven't smoke weed in more than a year. I started lifting, and being obssesive, all this stuff got me to the 5th place of GPA, at my med school where 1800 students are attending regularly. I was already lifting, but I started getting knowledge on the subject.

Now that's good, but right now that I'm more into real life and less into fantasy.(I haven't played video games in llike a year)Everything nice to this point, but I started getting depressed as F*ck when I fail. Tried to lost my virginity with this girl, my dick went full limp (Never fappened again or watched porn, that was 3 months a go). I went on a cut, as I tought I would right now sitting comfortably at 10%, I'm struggling to get to 12% though, I'm not as muscular as I tought, loosing over 20 pounds. A lot of frustation going on, tried 1 more time to have sex and failed miserably. I get girls cause I know how to look like an alpha, but since during my early teen years I failed with girls and was bullied, those insecutirities when it comes to social skills, are still there.

Right now I get more angry, furius I would say and obviously less tolerant to bullshit, I am way more sensitive to what people say also, hell break lose on my head when people attack me verbally, when I look like a I don't give F*ck. I'm having my last exam on 5th of december, Monday 7th, I'm gonna start writting my first book.

I'm having a freaking rollerCoster of emotions like I am a preteen girl, I want to have stable mind with possitive thoughts most of the time.

If you have any tips to help or anything, I would gladly accept them, I'm 18 years old, but I'm quite new to living life. My eyes are wide open now, I totally committed to succeed, and I will, but some help on the experienced one would help.

Long post sorry.

 

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[ilrein]

Well, welcome.

While I'm sure some members would enjoy offering you advice on your personal issues, this is an entrepreneurship forum.

So, stop whining about your hormonal fluxes, and come back when you're ready to talk business.

 

[DeletedUser394]

Well, welcome.

While I'm sure some members would enjoy offering you advice on your personal issues, this is an entrepreneurship forum.

So, stop whining about your hormonal fluxes, and come back when you're ready to talk business.

Wow, who shit in your cereal this morning?

This is posted in the correct section. If you haven't noticed, it's 'Life, Health, Happiness'. He is struggling and looking for advice from people, many of whom have been in his position in the past.

There is nothing ridiculous in his post, stop being an a**hole without just cause.

Entrepreneurship is so much more than just 'business'.

 

[GuestUser116]

I have been living alone since my 17's

Where'd you get the money to do that?

 

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[Gabriel]

Where'd you get the money to do that?

In argentina, you can finish high school when you are 17 and half, and Since i'm from small city, I had to moved out if I wanted to go to collegue. I started med school en february of this year. My partens pay for everything, actually collegue is free at argentina, so they are just paying me the rent, food, and services. I'm american born, (my dad was getting a full paid schollar ship at oregon) but I was raised from argentinian family in argentina.


Thank for the support guys.

 

[Deon]

Hey man, I feel your pain, as I've gone through what you said when I was 18, plus some other much worse stuff... But hey, i'm alive and feeling good, so know this is just a phase. Actually... it's always good to keep this in perspective as life is always a combination of good moments and bad moments... tell yourself "oh, i'm in the bad phase now...i'm just going to focus on doing the best I can and continue moving forward... then the good phase will eventually come... that's how life works"

I hate giving people "anti-depression" or happiness advice, because I really don't know your situation, and what I say may not help at all.

What I can say though is...

Cialis helps haha... seriously, for that problem, Cialis saved me countless times and made me appear to the girls as a sex beast, with some even telling me "you don't stop, do you?"

But that's of course a temporary fix, even if it's an amazing one. Having a healthy lifestyle, habits and diet will go a long way into fixing that problem.

Most importantly, and I say this from experience as I have been in your shoes, girls will still be here even if you're 30, and the ones that you give so much importance to now, will not even exist in your life in a couple of years. Keep this in perspective. You'll tell yourself in a couple of years "I can't believe I stressed over that stupid shit"

About other parts of life... Bold and Determined is a great blog that can get you out of this mentality you're having, and push you to be a winner. It will not do the work for you, but if you use it smartly, can push you in the right direction. There are articles there that will resonate with you, and strike a cord in regards to the person you want to become. Those articles will give you a brief motivation and good feeling.

But the most important is...

You have to review them often, maybe weekly to keep reminding yourself of them. Print them

And speaking of this routine... Setting goals in life, writing a clear plan, and COMMITING TO IT, is one of the secrets to a happy life. There is no faster way to unhappiness than having a life with no clear goals and a plan to get there.

One other thing I found helpful is reading books, mostly biographies, of great people. When you see what they have achieved and the kind of mindset they had, your "problems", which are not even problems, and are things people which they had, will seem ridiculously small. Keep educating yourself in general. Your mind will have other things to chew on than whatever girl your penis didn't get up for.

If you consider these things you have as problems, life will have bigger problems for you in the future. You have parents that are paying everything for you. Many people wish they had that. Most people, in the US for example, have student debts following them their whole lives, that's an obstacle, even it can be overcome. You have 0 debt.

Summary:

• Use Cialis as a temporary fix for your problem, and look into lifestyle, habits and diet to get rid of this problem long term.
• Hot girls will never stop existing, don't stress over the ones you meet now. There will ALWAYS be a hotter girl next time, even if sometimes you tell yourself that girl is special. (I'm guilty of this myself and fall in love every other day with a girl thinking she's the best girl i've ever met... until the next one comes a few days later)
• Bold and Determined is a cool blog, read the articles that resonate with you, print them, and read them often, weekly.
• Set goals and write a plan to achieve them (The book The Compound Effect is great for this, and if you can get Jim Rohn's The Art Of Exceptional Living, you life will change no doubt)... Actually, now that I think about it... Jim Rohn's CD talks about most things I said. If you had to do only one thing, get it NOW. Tonight, not tomorrow. And listen to it.
• Educate yourself, and read the stories of the great people of the world (Bonaparte, Lincoln, Gandhi, etc... Or you can read Robert Greene's books Mastery, 48 Laws of Power, etc it's a good summary), and your problems will seem childish compared to what they did in their lives.
• I am blessed to have found this forum, and some of the Gold threads on this website can change your life. And I mean that seriously, (I don't want to post about the product I am launching until I do, but I know that things would have gone so much more differently had I not read some things in here). Make this forum your main business stop and you will be sure to succeed. Read all the Gold threads and get yourself an INSIDERS subscription.

And now, because I have written so much, I feel like I have the right to tell you...

STOP BEING A PUSSY

P.S. If you have Instagram follow @agentsteven and @before5am (The latter... reading the posts accompanying his pictures, one by one is like reading a book full of goldmines), their pictures will keep you motivated and will keep your goals in your radar.

P.S.S. WTF are you still doing here... go get that Jim Rohn audiobook, NOWWWWWW. Don't get out of your computer until you do.

 

[ilrein]

Wow, who shit in your cereal this morning?

This is posted in the correct section. If you haven't noticed, it's 'Life, Health, Happiness'. He is struggling and looking for advice from people, many of whom have been in his position in the past.

There is nothing ridiculous in his post, stop being an a**hole without just cause.

Entrepreneurship is so much more than just 'business'.

Hey, you're right.

I'm sorry OP.

It was just some tough love. Came off a bit harsh.

 

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[TopChef]

Hey Gabriel, I feel for ya man.

What stood out to me was when you said that you are more into real life and less into fantasy now.

But it seems like to me that you merely substituted the fantasy world of playing video games with the fantasy world of being an alpha and banging a lot of women and having a lot of money. It is arguable that this is not really any better than where you were when you were playing the video games. I think if you are able to step back and examine things you will find this to be the root cause.

You say that you get depressed as F*ck when you fail and that it angers you when people attack you verbally. Might this be because it breaks the fantasy world in your head? And maybe that exposes things you do not want to come to terms with? When your stuck in fantasy land, these things can bring you down because it exposes that you are not really who you think you are.

In the real world failure is an everyday occurrence. So is having people talk shit about you. Once you fully enter the real world and start taking meaningful action you will see that these things matter less and less, because you will be making progress getting to where you need to be. And these "setbacks" can fuel you instead of bringing you down.

Quit worrying about being alpha. Quit worrying about losing your virginity.

Just meet a girl you like, hold hands, kiss, and let nature take its course.

 

[Ninjakid]

You my friend, seem to be having a good old-fashioned identity crisis. Not uncommon for a teenager.

I'm thinking like you have many unresolved issues from your younger years, like with insecurity and things as you've described, and you've tried to build yourself up as this powerful "alpha" figure. But I think you realize that this new you is a temporary persona.

Not that you shouldn't try to better yourself, which you absolutely should, but you may be doing so from a point of anxiously trying to change yourself, rather than loving and accepting yourself for being you and wanting to better yourself to make your life more comfortable. The difference is the former is rooted in a paradigm of fear, and the latter is from a stance of self-love. I don't mean to sound corny or sappy, but do some soul-searching, and you'll probably find some truth to this.

So what can you do? Well do away with this idea of "alpha male" There's no such thing in terms of what advertising for supplements, and body-building blogs would have you believe. So stop trying to "look alpha" as you say. Instead, actually BE a man with confidence, and who is in control of himself and his life. It has nothing to do with being jacked (although I think physical fitness is definitely a plus), being overly-aggressive, or being a douche. It has everything to do with being in touch with your emotions, but not being controlled by them; and being able to appropriately handle yourself in situations, and being able to take care of those around you.

Also, I highly recommend meditation. There are many kinds, but choose which works best for you. You seem to have a lot of anxiety and negative emotions, so meditation will clear your mind, and make you more relaxed. Walking meditation, or something involving dancing will clear your mind as well as relieve physical tension in your body. With the kind of emotions you've described, trust me, you have tension in your body.
Martial arts is also great, because it's a great way to channel your aggression, as well as staying physically fit, and learning to fight.I recommend a martial art that's closer to the older and more traditional styles, like kung-fu, or taekwondo, as opposed to mixed-martial arts classes that are common today. The reason being is the traditional styles put a lot more emphasis on understanding and being in control of your mind, body and spirit.

And if you haven't already, I recommend checking out a book called The Way of the Superior Man by David Deida.

Hope this helps at least a bit, and best of luck to you.

 

[OVOvince]

wow you're 18 and in med school? if you learn enough from here you will be an entrepreneur AND a doctor!!!

hey man, as for depression, i used to have it big time.
even now it's a cycle, but it only lasts a day or a few hours every like 2 months or so.

basically you have to start engaging postitive thoughts into your brain.

start writing down affirmations. for example:

I am a great person.
I will become the very best version of myself.
I am taking action to become the very best version of myself.

The third one is the best, because it puts you in the present and motivates you to take action.

Make up affirmations of your own according to what you want, write them down first thing in the morning and at night, think it loudly, and let the positive thoughts settle into your skin.

Thoughts affect your body's chemicals, and after a while a thought will change the way your body feels. Basically your thinking will produce a certain reality.

that's how I got rid of my depression. and boy was it bad.

i used to sleep the pain away during the day after I got kicked out of my university and all the stuff that happened in between before and after.

i think i might have spent a total of extra 3-4 months in bed lol

then 1 day i got up and said F*ck it, ive always been multi talented, ambitious, and had big dreams and thoughts that made small minded people think im crazy.

and since then i've been on my journey, always doing something, whether working on my project, or taking a step back to evaluate and prepare more like i am right now, or hustling to save up money like i am right now.

now i recognize my sad thoughts when they come, and overtime i realize everything is just a cycle. and you realize that we go through waves of happiness and sadness, and once you do that, you can shorten the time you feel sad or down, and come back to the equilibrium quicker


one day, nothing will be the same in my life, and it will take off like a plane. i am confident in that.

you have to be that confident in yourself. believe it. believe in you

 

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[BlakeIC]

Wow, who shit in your cereal this morning?

fukn bomb response haha

just made my day

 

[BlakeIC]

I am gonna take it you went on nofap for quite some time?

From what i have read it seems very common for people who did nofap for quite a while eventually caused erectile dysfunction

research how to get yourself out of it before taking things for limp dick

if you want to do no fap do it 1 day a week on the same day i find it helps the most (i am only 17)

 

[Mamadoo]

Lol you sound like me. Currently playing Destiny over 5hrs/day, fapping & playing soccer. School is different i am only required to go 2-3 times a week for around 2hrs so i have plennnnnnnnty of spare time

 

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[Gabriel]

Wow, thank you everybody! For everyone, yea I know my problems are nothing to much people, my worst problems right now are a mild gyno and dermatitis seborrea (Need daly intake of antibiotics to take have it undercontrol).

@Deon Dude, thank you so much! I am doing everything you said, except for cialis demn I need a med recipe freaking stupid country, I can get modafinil with it.
To the audiobook, I could buy and get it shipped from USA, but Argentina goverment closed importations of all kinds exept books, he I'm downloading it, not proud of it. I'll put it in my cellphone and I'm gonna listen it as much as I can. I'm debt with you bro thank you so much, I will try to not stress over all this shit, gonna concentrate on pass my las exams, to then going back home where I will be able to start working towards my goals of 2015 that is making enough money so that I don't need the financial support of my parents anymore. I still will make a progession thread and I will set some realistic and more badass goals for 2015, Cause I can totally live alone with 600 dollars a month (Third World Country FTW)

@TopChef Hahaha thank you bro, I will try to take it more naturally! And yes, I know that thing, me listening to people is making me realize that I'm not a fractiong of good that I thought. After these last exams I will start my bussiness.

@Ninjakid I have read that book man! Yes I suffered totally an edentity crysis, I think it was fueled a lot more for all this sudden changes on my life, from being a nerd playing all day in computer, my mom taking care of every chore from making me food to washing my clothes, kind of bullied at school, 5'11 125 lbs skinny fat to live alone, taking care of myself all alone. It was a long way and I still have a lot more to walk. Thank you very much.

@OVOvince Hey, wow man tough story, but It's great that you are back again, actually your story inspired me. I will try to take your advise and not worry much about those down-times I'm having. Thank you very much bro.

@ilrein Hey, hahahaa maybe you are right, but still, this is a Entrepreneurship forum, so I get advices from sharks, I could go to some weed forum and get hippies answers like "smoke and relax bruh", aniway thank you.

@BlakeIC Hey, the thing is I train 5+ hours a day, I'm fit. Well the no fap actually helped me a lot, on tuesday this girl is coming, and things will happen I think I'm prepared to take it! hahaha. I went from getting aroused only from porn, to get morning wood every single time. My energy levels went up by a lot too.

@Mamadoo Wow lucky hahaha, I have to study 6+ hours a day, plus attending school, buying everything, cooking, and every single chore around the house. I only have some spare time early on the morning or at night.


Thank you everybody, a lot, I'm following your advices and this is way more than I deserved. I'm totally in debt with you all guys! Such a great forum, you are all great guys.

 

[smarty]

@Gabriel
Read "The Flinch" and apply it every day http://vk.com/doc156615104_170115689?hash=11d39a72e962ba6d9e&dl=28aabb49a7217e1962 it will fire you up like nothing else. Stop Flinching.

 

[Mattie]

Sounds like you're just adjusting to adulthood and being out on your own for the first time. I would say it's probably natural at that point at your age starting to look back at the past and see how it has affected you. Life changes and adjustments do pull up emotions and feelings. Probably both growing pains emotionally, mentally, spiritually, and physically. While other people above might not admit it, it is normal to and part of the process of becoming aware, finding out the world isn't the way you always perceived it to be, and of course you have a million fears.

What form of depression you have is debatable so wise to see a physician and mental health professional to check out what's going on. Somethings are medical related such as thyroid, or other conditions with various parts of the body, I would list them, but I don't want to scare you either. lol
Always good to get a physical anyway and find out what form of depression you may have. Manic and Bi-polar is different than Major Depression, or Mild depression and really it's hard to say if it's depression. It can be other mental disorders as well but be closely related to symptoms.

For women and sex that stuff just happens and one day you get over it with the next time or women. Sounds like you have a lot of anger, resentment, bitterness, and perhaps some kind of loss or grief perhaps of life changing and the past. While it's great you're here in the business forum, really you need to work on all that stuff you got going on mentally and emotionally before you can really focus on anything else. I would assume it would even affect your education.

Your thinking, and focus divert your attention away from being positive and being successful. While meditation, visualization, and learning on your own through different techniques and methods there's a fine line where things can become unstable. So, this is why it is wise if you got all this going on to seek help from a physician and mental health professional before going off on your own and getting into trouble.

 

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[OVOvince]

@Gabriel i gotchu bro!!

Remember the most important thing, whatever you want to do, take action.

Be positive, and over time you will get rid of your depression

message me anytime if you need help bro

 

[FastNAwesome]

Hey man, welcome to the forum.

First the most important thing

If you can try again with one of those girls do it.
If you can find a new girl and try it - do it.

What happened to you happens to other guys too, especially the first time,
and especially if you have pressured yourself with high expectations.

You know how much I lasted the first time? Like 2 seconds.
But was drunk, and she comforted me: "Don't worry I know how drink can do that."
She didn't even figure it was my first time.

And we of course met again and it was awesome!

Don't set high expectations for neither yourself or her.
Relax yourself, relax her and don't rush anywhere.

Some things you can try, regarding "getting it hard":

- If drinking is your thing, have a few drinks,
maybe that will relax you.

- You can try a long forthplay. You know, kissing,
massaging, stimulating...

- Go see urologist.
Physical causes may be hormonal (low testosterone),
mechanic (some injury) or something else.

But the great thing is that urologist can
test you to make sure if it's psychological or physical
reason.

They can inject you with some thing, and if your "buddy"
is healthy, this thing will give you the hardest erection
ever, whether you like it or not.

Of course it's highly recommended to have a set date
right after this treatment, and by date I don't mean
sitting in a coffee shop


As for your other thing - being too reactive to people's words -
it's important not to only build physical strength, but mental
strength too.

Puddles bark way more than big dogs. Be a big dog

Same with people. You will rarely see big strong dudes quarrelling and getting all emotional.
If someone tells them the wrong words, they will often solve it with one punch. No talk needed.

If someone tries to get you emotional by their words - don't let them.

Insulting words are the choice of the weak.

Don't let them bring you down to their level,
don't let them have any power by just running their mouth.

Their words are reflection of who they are.
Just avoid and ignore them.

Don't feed them with your attention.

By having your reaction, they already won.
Don't let them have time of your day.

If you do anything good with your life, anything at all,
you WILL experience envy, and posionous words from people,
and sometimes all that packed as "well meaning advice",
usually telling you the reasons why you "can't" achieve something.

Of course, there's good advice too. But you are the one to decide
which is good, which is bad.

Stay strong, get stronger, enjoy life and much luck with everything.

 

[tafy]

Depression is a very common thing nowadays isnt it? When I was growing up it wasnt common at all.

I guess it doesnt help with everyone faking it on facebook and making others feel like they dont compare

My advice: Be a duck, when you get pissed on, you just shake your feathers and keep going.

 

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[jesseissorude]

Now that's good, but right now that I'm more into real life and less into fantasy.(I haven't played video games in llike a year)

I found this interesting. I have NO problem with videogames, and in fact respect the industry a lot for how it pushes technological boundaries in a way that only the military could a couple decades ago (EE nerd here).

That said, I sold my console because I realized that I was using games as a surrogate for real life. I was levelling up in a fantasy at the expense of levelling up in reality.

Plus, I was wasting hours when there were other equally as fun, but more productive, things I could do. I tried good old-fashioned willpower (I pride myself in being very self-disciplined), but it was just one of those things that kept sucking me in. Eventually, I realized I couldn't rely on willpower or scheduling time for this, and got rid of the temptation.

Oh well, GTA was fun as hell while it lasted. I'll play video games again someday, but not while it competes with my goals.

 

[Gabriel]

I found this interesting. I have NO problem with videogames, and in fact respect the industry a lot for how it pushes technological boundaries in a way that only the military could a couple decades ago (EE nerd here).

That said, I sold my console because I realized that I was using games as a surrogate for real life. I was levelling up in a fantasy at the expense of levelling up in reality.

Ha, pretty much, I played from my 11's to my 17's MMO's 5-8 hours daily. God so much time wasted

 

[jesseissorude]

Ha, pretty much, I played from my 11's to my 17's MMO's 5-8 hours daily. God so much time wasted

haha yeah oh well. let yourself feel guilty for 5mins then move on.

 

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[Mattie]

Depression is a very common thing nowadays isnt it?

1 in 10 people in the U.S. I would say it's an epidemic these days. My motto is similar "Shake it off like a wet dog." lol

 

[Gabriel]

1 in 10 people in the U.S. I would say it's an epidemic these days. My motto is similar "Shake it off like a wet dog." lol

Lol I am feeling kinda depressed, but I am miles away from hurting myself or anything, since listening to the audio book, things are getting better. It's sunday, I woke up at 5:30 am to study... oh life.