Why Do YOU Need a Mentor?

[RogueInnovation]

Nobody NEEDS a mentor. I think I would like to have one though. Not as a coach, though - as a boss. I don't want to be an employee, but if I could work for somebody who knows they would benefit if I learned new skills, that would be cool. As opposed to, of course, a boss who just wants me to deep fry chicken wings to sell in their restaurant.

I guess the answer is to get really good at something that a good, relevant mentor would want, such as copywriting and/or sales, programming, design, etc. Still, sometimes I feel like I'm outside some sort of bubble, although I know that's ridiculous...

Although if I could just find somebody to follow me around all day and punch me in the face every time I started to f**k up, that'd be great.

I approached a friend with a business of mine cuz he could help me with the legwork (all the researching and gathering) I do the brainy business stuff and clue him in on it (show him how it is developed and why).

Its the best way to do it. I really enjoy doing business that way, cuz you just sit down, have dinner, talk, share data, make a break through and complete goals and move onto the next step.

"Mentors" are cool, up until the point they are pompous about things, bleh to that shit, business is best done round a table full of food, and while having a few drinks.
Just operate as equals that earn their keep, and make sure you are all motivated.

Any businessman that wants to act like a whiny b#tch, that thinks business has to be dry can gtfo imo.
Set up a round table and devide tasks up realistically towards peoples talents. Keep the excitement down by always letting everyone cool off, and regularly check in with each other to keep each other stimulated.


BTW, I do not believe in the "digging ditches" for mentors method of becoming successful. I think a good friend can utilise your talents immediately if he respects you.
If you are digging ditches, you should reevaluate if this guy actually gives a darn about your improvement or he is just interested in having a gloat to hide the fact he is SHIT with people.

 

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[Mattie]

business is best done round a table full of food, and while having a few drinks.

I have a friend that does it that way his business. But he's not a mentor, and does have success.

 

[Flora]

Nadia - I am also a biz mentor and it is very empowering to show people tools to help them open the road to success. I too have come from a school of hard knocks and I have had some great mentors. I am glad to see that you gave a 2 month marker because that is about how long it took me to have a total change in my business as well. It seemed so quick but it really is that fast when you have the right tools and logic to put into practice. Thank you for sharing your experience.

 

[pfar54]

Hi everyone,

This is my first post on this forum. I started reading the fast lane book a while back and joined this site. I then stopped reading partially into it and started learning coding as I thought it may have been the answer to my problems, but as MJ said in the book it takes a long time to learn coding. I have no problem with taking the time to learn it, but I'm just not sure of it is right for me. I designee a couple of decent sites and will probably want to do this for fun or if I can come across a really good idea, I would market it and run with it, but that is TBA.

I just started reading it again and am glad I picked it back up, the reason I stopped last time is because it motivated me I wanted to start going at it thay second and did that.

I am 27 with a girlfriend that I want to propose to, but am so broke I can't even afford a ring and I have a 1.5 year old daughter. My father doesn't even have a high school diploma and my mother passed away a year ago. I have people in my family who are entrepreneurs and are very successful. Most of there success came from my grandparents who had a decent amount of money and passed thay to them and helped them out. I know you do not need this, but they had guidance and a lot of help to make it easier for them. For the past 3-4 years I have been looking for a mentor, for someone to help give advise or ways I can become more successful. I am so tired of living pay check to pay check. I just had to have my girl friend start working because I was getting behind and I never wanted that to happen, I wanted her to be a stay at home mom for my daughter.

I went to school right after high school and was going for marketing and I didn't do the best after two years in because I just didn't want to be there, so I never finished and only have about 60 credit hours. I tried to go back this fall, but couldn't because I am in default for a loan, not much only about $1,500. However, I can't pay thay back quick enough before the fall to go back and get financial aid. I am working on it though. I don't owe too much in student loans, only 18k, so considerably less than others.

When my mother passed away I basically inherited her home, I'm going through Probate now and it is going to go right through to me and my sister. There is only 7k left on the house, so only 3.5k left on my part until I have 60k equity in my name.

I don't have any other debt besides that and from reading things on here and in MJ'S book, I know debt is the worst thing to have, so I'm not in too bad of a circumstance in that regard. My biggest problem is I don't make enough to allow myself to have any capital to invest or get myself anywhere. I'm currently in market development, sales, franchise coordination for a small company that is expanding. Though I don't think this will be anymore than a job. It is a company that is family ran with only 6 employees, including myself.

I am really in need of someone that can help shoe me the way or give me pointers that I can use to get there. I listen to any advise I get and appreciate it. I would really appreciate and help and if someone needs to know more. Please just ask.

 

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[mws87]

Initially, last year I viewed mentors as a shortcut. Then again, during that time I viewed a paycheck as my only source of happiness. Sad, I know.

As I've grown up quite a bit, I view mentors very differently. I realized I have younger relatives who always ask me for advice (I don't know why!), something about helping them build themselves really gave me a sense of fulfillment. Mentors shouldn't be looked at or sought after as a "shortcut to wealth", they should be sought after for growing and learning, connection and friendship. To answer the title of the thread: The biggest reason I would want a mentor NOW would be for development, growth and learning. Someone who could provide me with the proper guidance in exchange for value I would provide for them, whether that's working for them, helping them with things - whatever. I seriously don't have any friends I share the same values with anymore, hell, I don't even talk to many of my friends much anymore. It would just be nice to have someone like-minded and on the same page to work with. Then again, I consider a lot of posters here as mentors - unbeknownst to them.

I do actually have a mentor-figure in my life, my uncle. I've always viewed him as a father figure. He's taught me the importance of hard work, he's given me a lot of great values I've adopted. I remember working for him for a while (he owns a construction company). He paid me minimum wage and was a super hard-a$$ on me. Initially, because I was young at the time (21 or something) I always thought he was just a dick, but I realized I was the dick. I was selfish and entitled. Now, at 28, I can't thank him enough for the things he's taught me.

 

[pfar54]

I'm not looking for a shortcut to wealth, but what you said, someone to show guidance or just tell me how it is
I've never had anyone like that. My dad lives hundreds of miles from me and my mom did what she could.

 

[Alan LT]

We have some fantastic mentors on this forum. They mentor constantly whether you know it or not. Every time that you take an idea from someone and put it into practice, you are being mentored. Even if the idea does not work, you learn something.

Agreed. There is enough successful & smart people on this forum, in my opinion, so I dont think searching all over the world for a mentor is required.

 

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[Ronnie Bryan]

I would use a mentor for feedback,contact him/her if I had a real business question no BS their time is too valuable just want to keep focused, collaborate ideas, and solve problems sometimes things just don't work well when you are a one man show.

 

[pfar54]

The main thing is, I don't know where to start. I know that is very broad, but it is the truth. I don't have any extra income to do anything with.

 

[SteveO]

The main thing is, I don't know where to start. I know that is very broad, but it is the truth. I don't have any extra income to do anything with.

You said in an earlier post that you have not had anyone to guide you. I can totally relate. My dad worked construction and was not always around. I lived with my mom on welfare. I did not finish high school.

As an adult, I was pushed in the direction of construction. My family disagreed with me when I began changing directions. My wealthy uncle tried to discourage me from leaving my job to do real estate full time. But, I don't listen to the noise coming from all these different directions. There is enough to listen to just paying attention to yourself.

You start by paying attention to yourself. Pay attention to what is going on around you. Pay attention to life in general. All you need to see right in front of you everyday. Our focus is so singularly pointed that we miss out on all that is there for us.

Mentor? Not necessary.... It would be nice if one was there but they are not always around. There are not many people that I have dealt with in my business that I would like to emulate. Perhaps, like I said in the original post, I could take pieces from their playbook. But I don't want to be like them.

You can figure out how to move ahead on your own. How many people have bootstrapped a business from next to nothing and shared how they did it on this forum?

 

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[pfar54]

You said in an earlier post that you have not had anyone to guide you. I can totally relate. My dad worked construction and was not always around. I lived with my mom on welfare. I did not finish high school.

As an adult, I was pushed in the direction of construction. My family disagreed with me when I began changing directions. My wealthy uncle tried to discourage me from leaving my job to do real estate full time. But, I don't listen to the noise coming from all these different directions. There is enough to listen to just paying attention to yourself.

You start by paying attention to yourself. Pay attention to what is going on around you. Pay attention to life in general. All you need to see right in front of you everyday. Our focus is so singularly pointed that we miss out on all that is there for us.

Mentor? Not necessary.... It would be nice if one was there but they are not always around. There are not many people that I have dealt with in my business that I would like to emulate. Perhaps, like I said in the original post, I could take pieces from their playbook. But I don't want to be like them.

You can figure out how to move ahead on your own. How many people have bootstrapped a business from nest to nothing and shared how they did it on this forum?

Thank you for your response. I will research as much as I can on this forum to try and learn as much as I can. I'm still reading the TMF book, so I'm sure that will help guide me as well. I'm not one to ask for any help for anything and even my initial post was very difficult for me to write. I've just had enough of where my life is now. I've wanted to rent a jet ski for the past 5 years and every summer I say, well I definitely will next year. It's always the amount of finances that hold me back.

To be honest my story is a lot like MJ's and I'm sure there are a lot of other people here who can relate to that. I set a goal 5-15-05 when I was 17 years old that in 5-15-15 I would have accomplished anything and I really haven't and this is also really bothering me. However, I did start learning to code by then and launched my first site then as well. It didn't fair too well, but it was a start.

I have always read and heard that most if not every success story, that the successor had a great mentor in their life and I have always had this void and it is hard something when you have no idea where to start or if you haven't had successful people in your life.

I will never stop trying though!

 

[iamwealthking]

The main thing is, I don't know where to start. I know that is very broad, but it is the truth. I don't have any extra income to do anything with.

What are you good, do what comes naturally think of ways you can help someone else that is not so good at what you do best. Then monetize your efforts so that you can multiply your results.

Sent from my VS930 4G using Tapatalk

 

[SteveO]

I have always read and heard that most if not every success story, that the successor had a great mentor in their life

I have not seen this to be true. Most people have significant influencers. While many may have mentors, I don't believe that the mentoring goes to the level that some would expect it to go to.

 

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[pfar54]

What are you good, do what comes naturally think of ways you can help someone else that is not so good at what you do best. Then monetize your efforts so that you can multiply your results.

Sent from my VS930 4G using Tapatalk

I like developing, in all types of fields. I think that is why I first jumped into coding, but I don't want to sit at a desk all day reducing code or debugging. I want to build, develop and make my own creation better. Inventing something has always interested me, but I haven't thought of an idea yet. As of now I am in market development, for a small scale business, but it seems that makes it better because I have more play in what I can do.

I love helping people with ideas and have never been shy in doing that.

I think sometimes I have decent ideas for my own business, but the problem always falls back to not having any capital to get it going or not knowing how to get the idea going.

I have not seen this to be true. Most people have significant influencers. While many may have mentors, I don't believe that the mentoring goes to the level that some would expect it to go to.

I'm sure not. In my case, I'm not looking for someone to hold my hand, but to point in the direction and give guidance or critique me and tell me their real thoughts.

 

[NVious]

You don't NEED anything apart from food/shelter/clothes, the subjectivity of NEED is really what this thread is about, however this is my take on it.

Here is an outline of WHY to do it:

Everyone wants to make progress
Progress takes time, no doubt anyway you slice it, you’re going to have to put in work

Time=money

If you can get someone to expedite the process, then although you might quote pay for it, you’re really not in the actual sense of the word in that your net gains with a legit coach guiding you are almost always greater than any cost you bear

In essence your point A to point B may take 3-5 years IF done at 100% or close to it, BUT it can also take MUCH longer, so much so that often times even if you trade a week, two weeks or even a months worth of wages….well if the as opposed to or the other scenario with NO guidance where it takes you 6-8 years which is a very conservative estimate as some can REALLY mess up the process, but even if it takes 6-8 years as opposed to 3-5 and yes aware these are arbitrary numbers but I know from personal experience that my physical fitness could’ve done WAY better if I was smarter and my mental gains…well those could’ve been done WAY quicker than 6 years, maybe even taking just 10% of the time.

Point being that even if you THINK you’re paying, if you are sure that this person will expedite the process or ensure that you are closer to 100% then you would be on your own, then it ends up being immensely tilted in your favor.

Even when I compare my knowledge now to when I was younger or just when I didn’t have it, there really is no amount of money or price tag that I would put on it due to the sheer amount of doors it would’ve opened, the pain it would’ve saved me and the ease of mind it would’ve provided and that’s exactly what coaching provides, the variant of these 3 that you most need:

1.Reassurance, so KNOWING you are on the right path and having someone explain WHY you are on the right path, having the WHY is SO huge in reassuring you

2.Adherence, some struggle in being sure of themselves, others struggle with the action, both are issues and both NEED to be fixed. Having an extra brain on deck and one that you know functions in the way you want to just means you have someone to lean on and someone that will also give you a kick in the a$$ when you need it

3.Peace of mind, peace of mind in knowing you are on the right path and that all you have to do is take the action that is laid out for you. No worrying about what the action is, what result it’ll yield or whether or not it’s even the right action…just do it….and BOOM results

Cliffs:

Progress takes time for everyone
However there IS an optimal way to go from point A to point B
If you waste more time/money/energy going from point A to point B, would it not have been better off to have invested that in a coach who could've even potentially SAVED (even considering your "cost") you time/money/energy and stress?

Everything is opportunity cost, so when you look at how most people'll spend money, a coach is absolutely one of THE most legit things you can spend money on if you have goals and want to get ahead.

Now as far as the particular coach, most coaches (generally, unless they have insane results/social proof) work off of a time frame where you are given 100% money back guarantee.

That said, if you think they are banking on "scamming" you, understand that this is NOT a good long term business strategy, as scammers rarely last in ANY industry (let alone coaching).

Within a coach/mentor, look for:
Wealth of knowledge
The ability to streamline said knowledge
Clear/concise/simple thinking (being verbose/=being smart or being street smart)
Experience
Their own results
The results of their clients

And:

http://us5.campaign-archive1.com/?u=ca6ae38471d227b05e07a47e9&id=2f2363e737&e=c28b190ad1

 

[SteveO]

Time=money

If you can get someone to expedite the process, then although you might quote pay for it, you’re really not in the actual sense of the word in that your net gains with a legit coach guiding you are almost always greater than any cost you bear

Hmmm. I personally don't know that any of the successful people that I know paid to get coaching or mentorship programs. That was not even in my thought process when I started this post.

You don't NEED anything apart from food/shelter/clothes, the subjectivity of NEED is really what this thread is about

I put the word "need" in the title because some people think that they need a mentor to go out a start a business. My premise is that they do NOT.

 

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[NVious]

Hmmm. I personally don't know that any of the successful people that I know paid to get coaching or mentorship programs. That was not even in my thought process when I started this post.


I put the word "need" in the title because some people think that they need a mentor to go out a start a business. My premise is that they do NOT.

https://smallbusiness.yahoo.com/advisor/post/111586837942/7-habits-of-the-worlds-richest-people

This is a big one; in fact, 93 percent of wealthy individuals had a mentor who assisted them on their path to success. Finding a great mentor can be challenging, but the payoff can be huge

Technically you don't NEED anything, is it a smart decision? Depends....if you can find a LEGIT mentor, then you're a fool not to.

 

[SteveO]

@NVious

I did notice in his article that the section about mentors goes off on a discussion about careers. It is not so easy to find a mentor in the business world.

I say this because too many people spend their time looking for someone to mentor them. They are not that available. I do agree that if you can find someone that you should take it.

I feel like you are basing your discussion around the fact that I am suggesting that you should not use a mentor. That is not what I am saying at all.

 

[NVious]

@NVious

I did notice in his article that the section about mentors goes off on a discussion about careers. It is not so easy to find a mentor in the business world.

I say this because too many people spend their time looking for someone to mentor them. They are not that available. I do agree that if you can find someone that you should take it.

I feel like you are basing your discussion around the fact that I am suggesting that you should not use a mentor. That is not what I am saying at all.

You'll never be able to accurately gauge what is right and wrong in one's personal journey due to negative opportunity cost.

I.e sure someone mentally masturbating and not taking action is bad, but what if they had taken a wrong action?

You're assuming that the person that forgoes the mentor will then automatically put their resources to the highest use and this will turn out.

 

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[SteveO]

You'll never be able to accurately gauge what is right and wrong in one's personal journey due to negative opportunity cost.

I.e sure someone mentally masturbating and not taking action is bad, but what if they had taken a wrong action?

You're assuming that the person that forgoes the mentor will then automatically put their resources to the highest use and this will turn out.

Okay.

 

[NVious]

Okay.

Great counter argument, about as good as:

I was able to effectively mentor children by applying correct concepts of more successful teams thus streamlining their own learning process and what did all of this tell me?

"You don't need a mentor"

Lmfao,

 

[DeletedUser394]

Okay.

LOL. love it

Instead of needlessly arguing with anonymous people on the internet, I'm going to adopt the @SteveO philosophy.

Disagree with me? 'Ok.' You think I'm an idiot? 'Ok.'

Ok!

 

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[Andy Black]

^^^

Personally, if I have explained something and the other person doesn't get it, I don't even bother replying. I'm happy for them to have the last word. I'm not moving forward if I keep stopping to fight or explain myself.

Sometimes I may WANT to reply, but I don't NEED to.

 

[Bila]

I do think a mentor is somehow necessary to success ( my observation )
Said mentor(s) can be members of your family ( if you come from an Italian or lebanese family, you know what i mean ) or close friends.

They minimize the costly errors that a typical entrepreneur makes. They give him /her valuable feedback, quick enough to make changes to the real market.

The moral support and the confidence it gives you is also something to take into account.

 

[NVious]

LOL. love it

Instead of needlessly arguing with anonymous people on the internet, I'm going to adopt the @SteveO philosophy.

Disagree with me? 'Ok.' You think I'm an idiot? 'Ok.'

Ok!

Definitely a great attitude to adopt.

Brb let me type up thousands of words
Brb someone disagrees with me "ok"

Smart!

 

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[Tregan]

Be cautious of searching for mentors via the online method (SCORE, micromentor, etc...), although they have some great mentors on those sites, most are 'wanna be's' that only talk the talk but never walked the walk. Always do a background search (as with anything online) and make sure this person has the experience they say they have, after all it's easy to create a profile with lots of words to sell yourself. I contacted a supposed IT executive, had 30 years experience as a CIO only to find out this guy was a liar, I reported him back to the mentoring site. So use caution, sometimes the best mentors are those you least expect!

 

[pfar54]

Be cautious of searching for mentors via the online method (SCORE, micromentor, etc...), although they have some great mentors on those sites, most are 'wanna be's' that only talk the talk but never walked the walk. Always do a background search (as with anything online) and make sure this person has the experience they say they have, after all it's easy to create a profile with lots of words to sell yourself. I contacted a supposed IT executive, had 30 years experience as a CIO only to find out this guy was a liar, I reported him back to the mentoring site. So use caution, sometimes the best mentors are those you least expect!

Ideally, I would want to find one locally. At the present time, I work in a business that has under 10 employees. I have no idea where I could even look for a mentor around me, nor do I know where I could look. It would be kind of awkward going up to someone and bluntly saying, "You look pretty successful, would you like to be my mentor?". I knew this would be a creditable source and there would be some successful people on here. I do not have hardly any successful people around me and I know that I need to surround myself with people better/smarter/more successful than me, someone who will keep me going rather than me telling them a failure of mine and that person going "That sucks, sorry".

For instance, the first website I started is an Ecommerce website. I did not have a niche or set, static product, so I ordered a product that was cheap just to test my site and I designed it to look somewhat appealing and not at all towards that test product because I had no idea what I was going to sell. With that in mind, I did a soft opening through Facebook and did not get one order at all. I posted it again 2-3 more times that week and still nothing. That sucked, I spent 3-4 months, with very long hours, designing it and getting everything working perfect for nothing to go through. Since then I haven't worked on the site at all. I received a little bit of feedback from it when I posted it and I monitored the analytics and saw that people were looking at it, but it still bummed me out. For a first website it was pretty good and I had no one teaching me any of it. I'm sure most of the issue was the product, so I'm sure it will do better once I get better products, but with all of this being said, it would have been great if I had other driven people to give me feedback (good or bad) and kept me going (know that is not needed, but it helps sometimes).

My boss is currently being mentored by a pretty big name in our industry, and he explains the value and everything he brings to him. He also mentioned how the guy is at a certain point in his life where he gets much more gratitude out of watching people progress and build their success rather than doing it himself.

BTW, I didn't mean to take over this thread, I thought it was an open thread to ask if anyone could mentor you. I will create a new thread if needed.

 

[SteveO]

@pfar54
You are taking action and it will pay off in learning. Keep moving forward and applying new strategies. There are thousands of tidbits of advice on this forum that would help you with specifics for what you are trying to do.

It would make sense for you to post your own thread. Explain your process in detail. Keep your questions pointed and specific. People will be happy to help.

Have you looked for investment or entrepreneur groups that you can meet up with or network with in your area? Keep looking for a mentor but don't stop taking action.

 

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[pfar54]

@pfar54
You are taking action and it will pay off in learning. Keep moving forward and applying new strategies. There are thousands of tidbits of advice on this forum that would help you with specifics for what you are trying to do.

It would make sense for you to post your own thread. Explain your process in detail. Keep your questions pointed and specific. People will be happy to help.

Have you looked for investment or entrepreneur groups that you can meet up with or network with in your area? Keep looking for a mentor but don't stop taking action.

No I haven't. Not sure where I could find those. I am in the process of setting up an appointment to speak with an investing broker, but the only downside to this is it would be the slow-lane and take away funds I could use to potentially do something else. Though, it is better than blowing it.

Thanks for your help, I will create my own thread so I don't continue to take your thread off point.

 

[SteveO]

Thanks for your help, I will create my own thread so I don't continue to take your thread off point

No problem posting here. You would get better response with your own title though.