Critique my sales page

[eqttrdr]

www.WeightStenics.com (sales page)

All feedback/thoughts on my sales page are welcome. I need the feedback to improve the sales page and make it a success.

Is it convincing?

What can I do to make it better?

If you were interested in getting an athletic and aesthetic body in 90 days with calisthenics, would you purchase my product?

Thank you.

horrid performance that needs to be fixed before ANYTHING ELSE...

 

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[GuestUser116]

horrid performance that needs to be fixed before ANYTHING ELSE...

The page loads up right away for me.

 

[insideusisgod]

I'd test the following once you have decided to go live:

Title:
Without Ever Going To The Gym

Button color:
Green Background

 

[GuestUser116]

Where do I advertise? I just tried Bing Ads yesterday and its pure shit.

 

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[nebuer]

Good pick up eqttrdr.

http://gtmetrix.com/reports/www.weightstenics.com/rFsSJS4T

that's... kind of a huge problem. You need to get that WAY faster.

Ditch Wordpress. Don't use it for landing pages. Compress all images and make the code as clean as possible. Use CSS for buttons. If you can't manage this... spend a couple of days on one of the HTML / CSS study sites. It's not hard to pick up enough to put together a simple landing page like this.

As for where to advertise:

Most of these kind of offers are done with media buys, not search. Porn sites + torrent are pretty popular from what I've seen for building-muscle offers if that's what you're going for.

Another thing... don't expect to make money on the front end if you even do manage to get this to convert. The money is made on back-end sales.

Start slow. Don't go spending $1000 on traffic without conversions. If I were you I'd go on Clickbank and study the shit out of the top converting offers there.

Also check out www.whatrunswhere.com and look for similar offers. Note how they're advertising, their landing pages, pre-sell pages, banners. EVERYTHING. If someone has been advertising for a long time... there's a good chance they're making money. Find out why.

What makes you so sure Victor Pride is "making bank" and is someone worth modelling?

 

[GuestUser116]

Most of these kind of offers are done with media buys, not search. Porn sites + torrent are pretty popular from what I've seen for building-muscle offers if that's what you're going for.

Another thing... don't expect to make money on the front end if you even do manage to get this to convert. The money is made on back-end sales.

Start slow. Don't go spending $1000 on traffic without conversions. If I were you I'd go on Clickbank and study the shit out of the top converting offers there.

Also check out www.whatrunswhere.com and look for similar offers. Note how they're advertising, their landing pages, pre-sell pages, banners. EVERYTHING. If someone has been advertising for a long time... there's a good chance they're making money. Find out why.
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What makes you so sure Victor Pride is "making bank" and is someone worth modelling?

Is Thepiratebay.se a good torrent site to advertise on? And ye I'll eventually make a back-end product.

Victor Pride wrote an article like a year ago; breaking down his income for the month, which was around $11k. Seeing his business grow, now I assume his income is $20k + /month.

 

[jon.a]

The page loads up right away for me.

The text is quick. The images are slow.

 

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[PureA]

A lot of false claims... kind of a snake oil gig...

Besides that, the picture in which you are wearing a hat is too strong to feature. In its place people want to see either someone who is extremely in shape or extremely overweight. Inspire the consumer, fulfil their desires.

 

[GuestUser116]

A lot of false claims... kind of a snake oil gig...

Besides that, the picture in which you are wearing a hat is too strong to feature. In its place people want to see either someone who is extremely in shape or extremely overweight. Inspire the consumer, fulfil their desires.

Extremely in shape for a before pic??

 

[PureA]

Extremely in shape for a before pic??

Anyone that is uneducated enough to believe your ambitious claims is going to look nothing like your before picture in their before state. Although not impressive, the picture you are in better shape than 90% of people. Your target market wont be able to relate and therefore you won't convert anywhere near optimally.

 

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[GuestUser116]

Anyone that is uneducated enough to believe your ambitious claims is going to look nothing like your before picture in their before state. Although not impressive, the picture you are in better shape than 90% of people. Your target market wont be able to relate and therefore you won't convert anywhere near optimally.

So what do you suggest? I've always had an appealing body, I got ripped after WeightStenics tho.

 

[PureA]

So what do you suggest? I've always had an appealing body, I got ripped after WeightStenics tho.

I suggest that you work your magic secrets on someone who is out of shape at the cost of them providing you with progress pictures.

 

[Yasai]

The other route could be "sell to skinny people".

 

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[theag]

Copy is boring. Page loads painfully slow. White font on black background is hard to read. You say "no gym needed" multiple times but show pictures of a gym . Book cover looks very generic and 90s.

Whats your target audience? You talk about bulk cycles in the first paragraph, but in the gym pics you dont really look like you lift at all. Low body fat, yes. Muscle and strength, not really. Which is ok if your target audience likes that. But a skinny target audience doesnt connect to copy about "bulk cycles".

But, mainly, the price point is WAY too high for such a generic fitness product with no personal brand as a first sell.

What seperates you from the competition?

 

[GuestUser116]

Muscle and strength, not really

Get me any big looking meat head and I'll do more muscle ups than him, if he can even do one. A muscle up is the best strength test in fitness, you pull your whole body in one movement; it uses every muscle in your upper body.

But a skinny target audience doesnt connect to copy about "bulk cycles".

Sounds like you don't know much on the topic. Bulks are the only way to go from skinny to athletic.

 

[Mr.B]

@Glacier, you asked for critique, but seem to be taking some of the comments here personally.

From what I've seen around the boards, @theag could give you some good advice, but you'll need to listen and be open minded rather than getting all defensive. Maybe you could start by answering these questions?

Whats your target audience?

What seperates you from the competition?

 

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[ljb7]

It may or may not help. But you are asking for critique, so...

I don't like your choice of typography. Oswald and Times New Roman? It just doesn't look right.

There are plenty of great complimenting fonts out there. My suggestion? Oxygen in bold for headers, and Open Sans for body copy.

Or you could go for straight readability - I'm sure you can find some stuff about this on the web, if not, if I'm remembering correctly Ca$hvertising sheds a little light on this. In fact, if you haven't read it already I'd just go ahead and order it... It's definitely worth the read.

Edit: Online Font

'A 2002 study by the Software Usability and Research Laboratory concluded that:

1. The most legible fonts were Arial, Courier, and Verdana.
2. At 10-point size, participants preferred Verdana. Times New Roman was the least preferred.
3. At 12-point size, Arial was preferred and Times New Roman was the least preferred.
4. The preferred font overall was Verdana, and Times New Roman was the least preferred.'

 

[GuestUser116]

@Glacier, you asked for critique, but seem to be taking some of the comments here personally.

From what I've seen around the boards, @theag could give you some good advice, but you'll need to listen and be open minded rather than getting all defensive. Maybe you could start by answering these questions?

Target audience- Skinny guys that want to gain muscle and strength while staying at a low body fat %. Going from skinny to athletic and aesthetic.

What separates me from competition- Calisthenics and intermittent fasting. Most programs use weights only. WeightStenics uses advanced calisthenics such as, muscle ups, triangle pull ups, pull ups with time under tension, high rep diamond push ups, pistol squats, and more. WeightStenics focuses on athleticism and aestheticism rather than the typical "just get big or get swole" The goal of the program is to go from skinny to athletic and aesthetic in 90 days.

 

[theag]

These guys do IF + weight + some pseudo-alpha-male-stuff. Very successfully.

http://www.engineeringthealpha.com/

I would copy/reengineer their marketing, but change the angle from weights to calisthenics, and from "big and swole" to athletic. Keep the pseudo-alpha stuff, its trendy. Could work if you execute well.

Btw they are at 1/3 your price. Thats what I meant regarding your price point in my previous post.

 

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[theag]

You can buy alphacalisthenics.com from me for...

JK. Its still available.

 

[GuestUser116]

These guys do IF + weight + some pseudo-alpha-male-stuff. Very successfully.

http://www.engineeringthealpha.com/

I would copy/reengineer their marketing, but change the angle from weights to calisthenics, and from "big and swole" to athletic. Keep the pseudo-alpha stuff, its trendy. Could work if you execute well.

Btw they are at 1/3 your price. Thats what I meant regarding your price point in my previous post.

So they are targeting weak, fat, beta males?

A way to reach alpha, have great sex, and live at your potential. What about fitness? They barely mention weights and IF. How do I re engineer their marketing and change it to calisthenics?

 

[theag]

I honestly dont know how to respond to that.

I showed you an example of a very similar product with GREAT marketing that got a 7-figure deal IN ADVANCE of publishing and probably sold mid 7, maybe even low 8-figures in total until now. These guys are all over the interwebz in podcasts, blogs, etc, sharing their strategies.

The rest is up to you.

 

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[GuestUser116]

My new hook- Turn Heads, Wet Panties, Demand Respect, And Live Life On The Edge, Far Beyond Your Potential.

Sub hook/ Sub title- Have you ever wanted to live life on the edge without remorse or apologies? Live beyond your potential? You don't need to answer me, I already know you have. It starts with one simple step that requires some dedication. That simple step is Calisthenics.

 

[wade1mil]

I didn't read all of the feedback or your entire sales page. Two things I noticed just scanning it.

Find out how to accelerate muscle growth, double your strength, and stay lean for a lifetime. By following the simple rules and routines in this program, you can maintain a single-digit body fat percentage for the rest of your life – even on bulk cycles.

Weightstenics is a workout with a difference that allows you to develop maximum physical fire power. It combines proven classic weight training principles with calisthenics to create a workout that viciously attacks body fat.

This lead after your headline is pure features and no benefit. Your headline and lead must convince the reader to read the rest of the page. If it doesn't, the rest of your page doesn't matter. How does all of the benefit the reader?

You mention in your headline not having to go to the gym. Your pictures show you working out at a gym.

 

[Jake]

The text is quick. The images are slow.

Wouldn't hurt to use a CDN

example: https://www.maxcdn.com/

 

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[Digamma]

It works slow for me too. What hosting are you on?
My advice: turn it to a static website, and use a static web hosting with global CDN. Doesn't get faster than that.

My new hook- Turn Heads, Wet Panties, Demand Respect, And Live Life On The Edge, Far Beyond Your Potential.

Sub hook/ Sub title- Have you ever wanted to live life on the edge without remorse or apologies? Live beyond your potential? You don't need to answer me, I already know you have. It starts with one simple step that requires some dedication. That simple step is Calisthenics.

"Far Beyond Your Potential"? Don't tell people they don't have potential, it's not nice. They want to be cuddled, not pushed down a flight of stairs.
They HAVE potential. And it would be a SIN if they didn't develop it. And how EASY would it be with YOUR PRODUCT, wouldn't it?

 

[borntodominate]

loading is terrible. hate the graphics and design. You need to make it more modern and professional IMO

 

[Iwokeup]

So they are targeting weak, fat, beta males?

A way to reach alpha, have great sex, and live at your potential. What about fitness? They barely mention weights and IF. How do I re engineer their marketing and change it to calisthenics?

So, you came to this forum, asked for critiques, and now you're exhibiting foot in mouth disease?

Look man, people are trying to help and giving you valuable (and FREE) advice. Try to act like less like a young, know it all. You don't. I don't. Wisdom means recognizing that maybe your approach (the universal your) might not be optimal.

Best of luck.

IWU, former Marine, former ninja

Also, your page is very difficult to read. Your target audience isn't clear. Your before and after doesn't look different enough without knowing what the "starting point" should be. Why should I or anyone part with our money? What massive value are you offering?

Good luck

 

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[theag]

So they are targeting weak, fat, beta males?

Yes, and rightly so, because thats the target audience that actually pays for stuff like this.

If somebody already is strong, athletic, low bodyfat and alpha as fuark he has better things to do than reading your ebook.

 

[GuestUser116]

"Far Beyond Your Potential"? Don't tell people they don't have potential, it's not nice. They want to be cuddled, not pushed down a flight of stairs.
They HAVE potential. And it would be a SIN if they didn't develop it. And how EASY would it be with YOUR PRODUCT, wouldn't it?

Everyone is born with potential. The potential to do anything your mind can imagine. It would be a sin not to live to your potential and see your dreams become a reality. The path to your potential starts with one simple step that requires some dedication. That simple step is Calisthenics.

How is that?

Just so everyone knows, I didn't write the sales copy on the page; it is outsourced.