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Can't! Is that the only word anyone knows???

A post of a ranting nature...

Feek

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Can't. I absolutely hate that word. It drives me up a WALL! It's a word that shows you're defeated before you ever even try.

"Can't do that", "Won't work", "Not here" and all the other siblings of "can't" that people use to get out of actually having to TRY.

I bring this up because of something that happened to me today. I was talking with someone at work about the processes that exist there and their detriments to our daily work. She said the same thing everyone else says; "yeah", "yeah", "yeah" which is all I ever hear from people, agreeing with me on all the issues that I see. They know these problems are there and need to be fixed.

In this conversation, I identified one major process issue I can fix that will help get us on track. The best part of my plan is that I don't need to change the culture to get it fixed, only process.

As I'm walking through each step of the fix, I get nods of agreement, she gives me ideas on how I can implement and she even brought up some new information that will help me. So at each step this woman is agreeing that each of these steps seem doable.

I get to the end, and I essentially say "...so, it'll take a while because we have to take baby steps, but that's basically how I can fix the situation for all of us."

Her response? "Yeah, but you can't do that here." Without missing a beat she said that the thing she just said COULD be done, CAN'T be done.

How does that logic work?

Every single step she said it sounded feasible and even doable, but when it came time to look on the plan and possibly implement, she ran and hid!

Now, I've heard "can't do that here" a hundred times at a hundred companies and almost every single time I proved them wrong, so lucky for her and everyone else at that place, I'm not giving up. It just gets on my nerves to have people run for the hills every time something difficult shows up.

*deep breath* WOOOO-sah!!!
 
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Iammelissamoore

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Because most times, though people know the very thing to be done, it's always a case of "someone should do something." Rarely do most people recognise that "someone" can be them.
 

Mattie

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I hear I can't help myself every day! lol Because I'm behind a screen and they don't know my experience, they assume I don't know where they're at. Than they list all the reasons why they can't be happy, have a life, and tell me i don't know what I'm talking about, because of course their mindset is sidewalk. I tell you this world is filled with various characters.

I enjoy the intellectuals that problem solve and inner develop. That take action and do something. Everything is to hard and of course the run. It's to painful and they suffer I was told today, and suffering is normal.

How I managed to get out of that mentality is a true blessing! :)
 

Bananas

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I know what you mean. My peeve is "I'll try." There is no try dude. You just do it. I'm not gonna "try" to go to the store, to eat better, to find an item I can sell online for more, to write a book. I'm going to do it. Most people don't get this. Massive respect points are lost in my book when someone says to my face "well, I'll try." Eyeroll.
 
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Mattie

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The biggest laugh I have is when I describe what they're doing and point it out to them, and than they come back and say those are just excuses. lol But it's not me doing it, but them. lmao!
 

Mattie

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Not to mention one threw disclaimer at me and said this is just a cover up in businesses. I said, well because of so many complaints like yours, the legal system created this because to many complaints of whose responsibility it was with choices in life. She than said, well I won't argue with you, but I still believe disclaimers are not valid. lol

And than before that she said people are responsible. lol I stated if they were responsible with their life they wouldn't have a messed up life and looking for answers. lol Well it seems to be my fault when anyone has a problem in the world and I'm to blame for their choices. lol Doesn't matter if it's someone I know, or don't know.

What I've learned is everything is my choice by free will and no one's responsible for the messes I create in life. I suppose some people just don't get the idea that they are creating the thoughts, actions, words, and they get themselves in a dilemma. Trying is what they all do, but I guess they'd have to mature and take responsibility.
 

RogueInnovation

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I can't read this, I'm sorry, its just a bunch of whining. How come you can't just accept that she thought your idea was too fleeting and didn't feel your commitment.

/f#cking with you

That sort of thing right?

Well, obviously she thinks you were just too "temporary" and were not looking ahead far enough or assessing problems deep enough, and not willing to commit to the change over the long haul, but I get that it isn't really the point.

Your point is that, can't is the first word they say, when it should be the very word they resist in order to be open to ideas and possibility.

I think you have a kernel of a great idea here.
Give people the infectious can do attitude, so they can't say can't and you might get the job. I like that!

Morale of the story, be happy no matter what anyone says to discourage you!
 
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Ninjakid

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I think she didn't like the idea of taking time to move towards something, she just wanted it handed to her right away.

I noticed this with my last, first, and only ever job. Everyone always F*cking complained. There was always some issue that was the management's fault and they were owed something or some shit. Believe it or not, I sympathized with the managers because they were too busy to listen to everyone's crap, but they would have to anyways so there wouldn't be a huge fuss.

But this is why some people are completely okay with being employees; because as an employee you can always pass the burden onto someone else, and get them to put things in place for you.
 

Jam Wheel

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True, though at the same time the managerial and executive class can also throw roadblocks that, despite what they want to achieve, those below cannot overcome. Whenever I heard a "you can't do that here" statement at work it usually related to fear - fear of being replaced, fear of being shown to have no value, fear of exposure. So you had to find a workaround (time consuming) when the most direct path would have saved time and money. It was infuriating and one of the reasons I left (that and apparently my personality was too "up front" for some people. I tend to be a straight shooter).

Actually, most can't statements and derivatives come from a place of fear, whether its at the workplace or personal. I have a friend who every week restarts the same diet (yes, she is insane, and in more than just that way) and fails in two days because she can't find time to exercise or can't avoid the work sweets etc. Well yes, you could, if you commit, but then that would require deeper personal introspection than I think she could handle. Easier to restart the diet again!
 

Mattie

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That's my problem, I'm a straight shooter, and people don't like it. lol
 
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Feek

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I think she didn't like the idea of taking time to move towards something, she just wanted it handed to her right away.

I noticed this with my last, first, and only ever job. Everyone always F*cking complained.
You're 100% right about wanting it to be handed to her. People like her are the reason people like me get paid a lot of money (well, a lot for the slowlane :)). I do the thing other people want handed to them, and then I hand it to them. I've found that that's a valuable skill to have.

I love it when people complain. When people complain, I open my ears. When people complain, most of the time it's about a simple issue that someone just needs to sit down, figure out and then work a plan to fix it.

In a job, it's by far the easiest way to get recognition. People have respect for the fact that I actually DID something, even when it doesn't work out. And then when it does work out, I'm seen as a hero that did what noone else could (read: would) do.

On MJ's advice, I'm taking that exact skill I've learned in my job out into the world, and now I listen to people complain and the first thought in my head is "can I charge someone for fixing that?" It's literally the process that led me to the business I'm starting to build right now.

There was always some issue that was the management's fault and they were owed something or some shit. Believe it or not, I sympathized with the managers because they were too busy to listen to everyone's crap, but they would have to anyways so there wouldn't be a huge fuss.
As someone who's been leading people for a long time, I'm going to go out on a limb and say that the situation you describe points directly to bad managers. Not only that, but a situation like that is usually CAUSED by the managers themselves in very subtle and insidious ways. Where's the engagement, where's the respect?

We're not living in a command & control business world anymore. "Too busy to listen to everyone's crap" is the telling phrase here, and so is the fact that they're only listening so there wouldn't be a huge fuss. That's old way of leading.

What you describe is also not an unfixable thing, it just takes a LOT of work to get the organization back to where it's supposed to be. I guarantee you I can fix that problem, because part of my career to this point has been built on being able to do that exact thing.

I don't want to pick on you because you seem like a smart guy who knows what's going on around him, but they way you just described this problem is very much like how problems are described to me when I go into businesses where I fix those "unfixable" problems.
 

Feek

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That's my problem, I'm a straight shooter, and people don't like it. lol
Remember, though, that it is possible to be a straight shooter AND have tact at the same time. There's a lot of people out there that think that you have to be blunt in order to be honest. As Jack Welch says, it's of ultimate importance to have candor but it's just as important to know how to communicate that candor properly.

I'm not saying that you don't have tact, yours was just an east post to reply to about a subject I think about a lot. :)
 

Unknown

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I can't believe you posted this :p

I hear all the time that things can't be done. Less competition.
 
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Ninjakid

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You're 100% right about wanting it to be handed to her. People like her are the reason people like me get paid a lot of money (well, a lot for the slowlane :)). I do the thing other people want handed to them, and then I hand it to them. I've found that that's a valuable skill to have.

I love it when people complain. When people complain, I open my ears. When people complain, most of the time it's about a simple issue that someone just needs to sit down, figure out and then work a plan to fix it.

In a job, it's by far the easiest way to get recognition. People have respect for the fact that I actually DID something, even when it doesn't work out. And then when it does work out, I'm seen as a hero that did what noone else could (read: would) do.

On MJ's advice, I'm taking that exact skill I've learned in my job out into the world, and now I listen to people complain and the first thought in my head is "can I charge someone for fixing that?" It's literally the process that led me to the business I'm starting to build right now.


As someone who's been leading people for a long time, I'm going to go out on a limb and say that the situation you describe points directly to bad managers. Not only that, but a situation like that is usually CAUSED by the managers themselves in very subtle and insidious ways. Where's the engagement, where's the respect?

We're not living in a command & control business world anymore. "Too busy to listen to everyone's crap" is the telling phrase here, and so is the fact that they're only listening so there wouldn't be a huge fuss. That's old way of leading.

What you describe is also not an unfixable thing, it just takes a LOT of work to get the organization back to where it's supposed to be. I guarantee you I can fix that problem, because part of my career to this point has been built on being able to do that exact thing.

I don't want to pick on you because you seem like a smart guy who knows what's going on around him, but they way you just described this problem is very much like how problems are described to me when I go into businesses where I fix those "unfixable" problems.

I understand what you're saying. I should have elaborated a little more.

What was happening was the company I worked for was moving to a new building, and this was going to take a great financial toll, and it was going to take some time to get everything working the way it was supposed to. The employees were all told first hand.

So in defense of the management, they were trying to get everything sorted out, but people were constantly complaining because they wanted everything immediately, missing the point that there was about a hundred different areas needing tending to. The company was actually on the verge of bankruptcy.

But eventually, everything worked out fine, and I think at least most people are happy.
 

Feek

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I understand what you're saying. I should have elaborated a little more.

What was happening was the company I worked for was moving to a new building, and this was going to take a great financial toll, and it was going to take some time to get everything working the way it was supposed to. The employees were all told first hand.

So in defense of the management, they were trying to get everything sorted out, but people were constantly complaining because they wanted everything immediately, missing the point that there was about a hundred different areas needing tending to. The company was actually on the verge of bankruptcy.

But eventually, everything worked out fine, and I think at least most people are happy.
I won't belabor the point, so I'll just say this as a closing statement: One of the main issues with management as it's practiced today is the focus on management rather than leading. The management you describe was focusing on sorting out complaints, whereas the real issue is that proper leadership should have start LONG before that situation and would have resulted in a vastly reduced number of complaints at the time of.

This is why I laugh when people ask me what kinds of problems I encounter as a leader - I lead so I don't HAVE TO encounter problems.
 

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