Tormented by Procrastination and Doubt, Advice?

[joocenasty]

I want nothing more than to create a business, but I have no idea whats holding me back? Anyone have a similiar experience, and advice on how to overcome it?

 

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[Charnell]

 

[throttleforward]

I want nothing more than to create a business, but I have no idea whats holding me back? Anyone have a similiar experience, and advice on how to overcome it?

I've found that when I procrastinate it's often because I lack a clear understanding of the overall strategy and my "why".

Why do you want to start a business?

 

[nebuer]

I went from getting up at 1pm, barely doing anything during the day, browsing the internet til 3-4am to getting more done that I have in my entire life so I feel like I know a lot about this subject.

"Just Do It" is bullshit and doesn't work. Video games and TV and talking to friends on Facebook are more compelling than "Just Do it". You need something stronger.

Two steps to being more productive:

1. Learn what fires you up.

What is your WHY? Why start a business? Why not just get a normal job? And it needs to be emotional. Really dig deep. When you think of this 'thing' it needs to be like being chased by a lion... or finding water in the desert. If it doesn't light a fire under your a$$ it's not enough. Look harder. And if you can't find anything and you just 'kind-of' want to be a wealthy entrepreneur... rethink your gameplan.

Tony Robbins talks a lot about us being motivated by either 'pain' or 'pleasure'. I think that's true.

2. Use #1 to push you towards habits and effective productivity strategies.

- Create habits and systems that move you towards what you want to achieve. Figure out the most important things for you to do, and do them every day, at the same time, in the same way. Create habits out of it.

eg. personally I get up every morning, drink 500ml water, shit, shower, eat breakfast, plan my day and then start IMMEDIATELY on work. No matter how I feel.

I strongly believe #1 is THE most important thing you need to succeed. If you don't have this, NO technique will work for you. You won't stick to any habit. It will fall apart over and over again and you won't know why. It's because you don't have a strong driving force.

For me, the switch got flicked when I realised:

- Life is short. I'm getting older. If I don't move my a$$ and create the things I want for myself NOW, my best years will pass me by with nothing to show for it. There is no 'tomorrow'. There is no 'in an hour'. By the time it gets to tomorrow.. you feel exactly like you do today.

Don't take mine. Again, if it doesn't emotionally drive you, it won't do anything.

I hope this helps.

 

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[Jakeeck]

I have suffered from this for a long time.. and today I had my first legitimately super-productive day. I easily put in 12 hours of quality work, and I feel like the man right now.

Anyways, here's how I did it.

1. Planned out everything I needed to get done.
2. Pomodoro technique (cliffs on this is that you set a timer for 25 minutes, work with ZERO distractions, and take a 5 minute break. There are apps for this, and online resources for more in-depth stuff)

By the time I was half-way through the day I felt so accomplished from working so hard that the momentum carried over into the rest of the day, and I had no problems with procrastinating.

I think a lot of my procrastinating comes after setting a bad tone early in the day. I get that feeling like.. damn, I've done nothing today, I suck, and then I have no motivation to start working. It's similar to when you cheat on your diet one day. It's about impossible to have junk food early in the day and then go back to healthy food. Don't know if you can relate to that, but it's true.

I'm still a work in progress, but I'm getting better.

Hope any of that helps.

 

[joocenasty]

Thank you all, very much.

You guys are the help no one in my real life has been lately.

 

[Ninjakid]

My method is to basically bullshit your way through. Create a success story in your mind about starting with virtually nothing, and building something magnificent out of it. Maybe imagine you're in a secluded place with only your mind and few resources at your disposal to work with; and you don't show up to greet the world until you've accomplished the task. And imagine your business thriving, and being exactly what you wanted it to be. And then, you fulfill your part in this tale

 

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[P3HSB]

I want nothing more than to create a business, but I have no idea whats holding me back? Anyone have a similiar experience, and advice on how to overcome it?

I know how you are feeling. Best advice I can give you that I've learned from @MJ DeMarco is you have to "change your identity if you want to change your results." The only thing that can save you now is a deep identity level change. But you have to be willing to make that shift. This is some powerful stuff. So listen up.

One thing I've found interesting about all humans is they are constantly trying to maintain, protect and manage their self identity (Ego Preservation). Humiliation is not part of most peoples identity. Many people would defend themselves in EVERY possible way in order to avoid such humiliation. Take men for example. Men would rather get into a fight, than to be humiliated. Though it sounds irrational, the social norm says in order for a man to be a man, they have to exhibit leadership and take initiative rather than to passively let it go. So what you have to do is reframe your identity and defend it. Here are some example of reframes.

So if you want to be an entrepreneur, you must reframe your wording to "I am entrepreneur"

I want to create a business must be reframe to "I will create a business".

I am tired of being lazy and want to be more productive must be reframe to "Today is productive"

I want to be healthy and have a six pack must be reframe to "I am healthy and I do have a six pack."

I want to be a non-smoker must be reframe to "I am a non-smoker".

"Then when someone asks, "Cigarette?" It violates your identity to say "Yes" or "Sure, maybe just one." The answer becomes a quick NO."

Once you make the shift, you must DEFEND it like how you would defend humiliation to your self identity. You MUST take massive action toward your goals because that is WHO YOU ARE. You have no choice because being lazy is NOT YOU. Not being an entrepreneur, is NOT YOU. Not creating a successful business is NOT YOU. Not eating healthy and no six pack is NOT YOU. If that six pack is not there and that is your identity, you better get your a$$ to the gym and get one otherwise your lying to yourself and to everyone else. So you better defend it with your soul.

I would like to end it off with a quote from @MJ DeMarco. "Motivation is fleeting. Identity is lifelong."

 

[Tommy92l]

I want nothing more than to create a business, but I have no idea whats holding me back? Anyone have a similiar experience, and advice on how to overcome it?

That's the truth man. Just do it. Break things into intervals. Say you work for 3 hours straight. Just set marks for yourself "ok, I'm 1/3 of the way through". I kid you not it makes time go by faster but you're still getting the work done.

It is mentally exhausting, but you get that entrepreneurial high. Even if you fail, it's better than sitting there playing games or whatever. Failing is way, way better than remaining idle. I promise you. Just do it.

 

[Charnell]

If you like playing video games, there's this game I like to play a lot. I call it getting a new high score in my bank account.

 

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[joocenasty]

If you like playing video games, there's this game I like to play a lot. I call it getting a new high score in my bank account.

lol my high score would be about 277.15

 

[joocenasty]

I've found that when I procrastinate it's often because I lack a clear understanding of the overall strategy and my "why".

Why do you want to start a business?

Because I want to leave a mark on the world, because I have a fixed amount of time on earth and I dont want to spend it doing something thats not pushing me towards my goal, because freedom and helping people are the 2 best things you could possibly have and do.

im probably just being my own worst enemy here by not starting huh

guess its just one step at a time, starting small

 

[Guest24480]

I use negative incentives and it's been working pretty well. Ex. If I don't work for 3 hours every day this week then I can't go out with friends on Saturday night

 

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[AlterJoule]

Here is your why. You're going to DIE. Simple as that. You WILL die and you have absolutely no idea if you'll ever get a second chance. If you do get a "Round 2", what are the chances you'll have a similar mindset to the one you have today? Not likely. In the off chance that you live again, it's most likely you'll have the majority mindset. Which is work until you die, with nothing to show for it. That would make twice for you by the way.

So to avoid dying having never lived. Go do something. Now.

If it's permission you're looking for, you've got our blessings.

 

[pickeringmt]

#1 You gotta commit - no matter how much you wanna quit, no matter how alone and stupid you feel, you have to realize that giving up is like suicide of the soul.

Realize it is a process.

You will never "get there".

Start finding and using any and every tool you can to make yourself the best you possible.

Study this forum. Learn everyday and do more than you learn.

It's like this:

You are at the bottom of a mountain, and you see people rolling these monster snowballs down the slopes. You think, "man, that looks cool. I wanna do that. Let's make a big a$$ snowball and roll it down the mountain."

You leave the crowd behind, and start walking up the mountain.

You don't even know where you are going.

You think all of the good snowball spots are taken.

But, you keep hiking higher and higher.

You finally find a spot. You see snow, and you are looking down the mountain.

So you pick up some snow. You start packing it together in your hands, but it seems like more is falling off than is sticking together. You feel clumsy, you feel inept. You feel stupid.

But, you keep packing - even though many other people give up and go home at this point, because rolling these snowballs OBVIOUSLY isn't possible unless you have some kind of secret knowledge or tool.

But you, you know that a snowball is a snowball - and your snowball is going to be awesome.

After an eternity of standing in the cold, packing your hands together, you have this tiny little snowball.

But, now it is big enough that you can put it down in the snow. Now it can start picking up snow, little by little, using itself.

So you keep rolling your little ball around in the snow. Around and around and around.....

People around you keep giving up. Throwing snowballs like yours away because they are worthless - too small. Breaking them with too much force because the process isn't fast enough.

But you, you keep rolling. And rolling. And rolling.

And rolling.

All of the sudden, you push the snowball one last time - and it starts rolling on its own, down the mountain.

Down and down it goes.

Getting bigger and bigger and bigger.

As you watch it cruise down the mountain, you realize that it was all worth it. Every minute of the struggle, the doubt.

And as your behemoth of a snowball rumbles down the mountain, you see the crowd at the bottom staring up.

And a few of them start walking.

Not sure what happens after that, but my guess is bigger snowballs.

Let's find out

 

[Gitrokr]

Because I want to leave a mark on the world, because I have a fixed amount of time on earth and I dont want to spend it doing something thats not pushing me towards my goal, because freedom and helping people are the 2 best things you could possibly have and do.

Why leave a mark on the world?
Why freedom?
Why helping others?

 

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[Gitrokr]

GOALS
Get your goals dialed in.
Get extremely detailed and clear on what exactly it is you want.

WHY?
Get your 'why' dialed in.
Get extremely clear on why you want to go after your goals and change your life from where you are right now.

PLAN
What's your action plan to get you to your goal?
Plan out the daily and weekly actions you will need to take to get you closer to your goal. Success or accomplishment of something is nothing more than little, itty, bitty bite sized pieces taken every day, day in and day out, through the good and the bad, until BAM! Goal accomplished.

Plan out what you need to do and just make sure you do those handful of tasks every day.

BELIEFS
After you have your goals, why you're doing all this and an action plan, now it's time to focus on your beliefs.

CREATIVE IMAGINATION
Take your goals and imagine, in detail and vividly, yourself having already achieved these things. Imagine yourself accomplishing each of your daily action plan tasks and capture all of the details, the sounds, the smells, etc.

When you're imagining these scenarios, the successes and achievements... How do they make you feel? Put emotions behind these thoughts and imaginations. Do you feel driven? Do you feel smart? Do you feel healthy? Do you feel wealthy? Do you feel unstoppable?

Imagine yourself accomplishing and having accomplished all of your goals and put emotions and feelings behind them.
Really see them and really feel the emotions run through your body. Do this every day.

 

[RyanGrant]

I know I get very intimidated by certain tasks strangely I was intimidated to join this forum XD I browsed the forum for months before deciding to join.

for me ive noticed my procrastination comes from two different areas FEAR and not caring. for fear I have always tried this
1.step back and take a deep breath (I sometimes visualise success to)
2. just do it before I get overwhelmed with fear
3. if theres some wait anticipation is a killer (ive read that anticipation gathers emotion and attention) I learn to cut the wait up by doing something like reading
4. I also talked to myself in my head pumping myself up to feel better especially if its prolonged like the first time I had to catch a coach in a busy place going to devon for my first date 100 miles away from where I lived.(every one in my family said I was crazy now they say the opposite quite ironic in a way)
5. ive noticed exposure to a certain area reduces my fear to that type of work I.E. going to devon cause no anxiety now

for the cant be asked attitude
1. I set a somewhat strict attitude where I force myself to work on something important
2. use something I found motivates me I use (Visualisation, self talk and Music)
3. lie to myself and say I do 5 minutes which ends up being longer

(I personally found a lot of things recommended about writing goals etc doesn't motivate me to do them I know I can be 'rebellious' by nature)

 

[John the Man]

I'ts so easy to get hitched by any websites specially social sites like Facebook and Twitter and keep you away from your goal for many hours until you slowly lose motivation. I've been hitched a hundred times so the growing of my money tree which is still a seed is very slow. I believe constant self-motivation is the key. I've been listening to MJ's Millionaire Fastlane everyday to increase or keep my motivation hot. Goodluck to everyone.

 

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[SJVC]

Welcome @joocenasty, I love these kind of threads.

My input would be that usually when you want to do something but are being blocked it is because you have an internal conflict.

One part of you says 'I want to build a business to help people and also become financially independent and make money'

The other part says 'Money is bad, I will become a bad person if I make more money than others around me'

Often the latter part is due to upbringing and social programming, that is where affirmations, visualisation and really asking yourself why it is you are scared of taking action can help you push through.

 

[joocenasty]

I actually said F*ck it, and bought a domain, hosting, about to get a landing page with email capture up tonight... and am about to have a meeting with a person who I would pre-sell my chosen product to, thank you all.

I told myself if I could pre-sell 20 units, I would go on to manufacture. wish me luck!



just taking the very first baby step made it more real for me...... I'm now obsessed.

Thats usually how it happens for me. I hesitate so much before saying F*ck it, it causes me so much distress.

 

[Steve Corcoran]

I went from getting up at 1pm, barely doing anything during the day, browsing the internet til 3-4am to getting more done that I have in my entire life so I feel like I know a lot about this subject.

"Just Do It" is bullshit and doesn't work. Video games and TV and talking to friends on Facebook are more compelling than "Just Do it". You need something stronger.

Two steps to being more productive:

1. Learn what fires you up.

What is your WHY? Why start a business? Why not just get a normal job? And it needs to be emotional. Really dig deep. When you think of this 'thing' it needs to be like being chased by a lion... or finding water in the desert. If it doesn't light a fire under your a$$ it's not enough. Look harder. And if you can't find anything and you just 'kind-of' want to be a wealthy entrepreneur... rethink your gameplan.

Tony Robbins talks a lot about us being motivated by either 'pain' or 'pleasure'. I think that's true.

2. Use #1 to push you towards habits and effective productivity strategies.

- Create habits and systems that move you towards what you want to achieve. Figure out the most important things for you to do, and do them every day, at the same time, in the same way. Create habits out of it.

eg. personally I get up every morning, drink 500ml water, shit, shower, eat breakfast, plan my day and then start IMMEDIATELY on work. No matter how I feel.

I strongly believe #1 is THE most important thing you need to succeed. If you don't have this, NO technique will work for you. You won't stick to any habit. It will fall apart over and over again and you won't know why. It's because you don't have a strong driving force.

For me, the switch got flicked when I realised:

- Life is short. I'm getting older. If I don't move my a$$ and create the things I want for myself NOW, my best years will pass me by with nothing to show for it. There is no 'tomorrow'. There is no 'in an hour'. By the time it gets to tomorrow.. you feel exactly like you do today.

Don't take mine. Again, if it doesn't emotionally drive you, it won't do anything.

I hope this helps.

Great advice man! I'm in a position where my lazy monkey brain is trying to convince me that hard work will hurt, especially if I have failures. However my revolved brain knows everything I have worked hard I have felt better and accomplished things.

I'm starting to think hard work is not so much of a burden when you are working hard towards something, and that there is no destination. If you become wealthy on the journey you can't just stop and fall back into being lazy sitting on your cash. You won't be satisfied with life. I believe humans must keep growing until we die or else we will fall into depression and feel vulnerable and weak.

I really need to start taking my own advice.

 

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[MJ DeMarco]

Hypothetical...

1) Your arm has been chopped off and it has been put in a cooler of ice.
2) You have a chance to retrieve your arm and have it reattached, hence saving your normal life.
3) Problem is, your arm is 15 miles away and the ice is melting. Once the ice melts, your arm is gone forever.
4) You have approximately 2 hour to get your arm, otherwise the ice melts.
5) You have no gas. Only a peddle bike.

Question, under these scenarios... would you have a problem finding motivation? Would you be on a forum asking, "Gee, should I get on the bike and peddle?"

Of course not.

The lesson here? You WHY/REASONS aren't strong enough. You have chosen comfort instead.

 

[Chitown]

Question, under these scenarios... would you have a problem finding motivation? Would you be on a forum asking, "Gee, should I get on the bike and peddle?"

Amen! I was homeless. For awhile. I didn't like it. At all. Never again!

 

[Steve Corcoran]

Hypothetical...

1) Your arm has been chopped off and it has been put in a cooler of ice.
2) You have a chance to retrieve your arm and have it reattached, hence saving your normal life.
3) Problem is, your arm is 15 miles away and the ice is melting. Once the ice melts, your arm is gone forever.
4) You have approximately 2 hour to get your arm, otherwise the ice melts.
5) You have no gas. Only a peddle bike.

Question, under these scenarios... would you have a problem finding motivation? Would you be on a forum asking, "Gee, should I get on the bike and peddle?"

Of course not.

The lesson here? You WHY/REASONS aren't strong enough. You have chosen comfort instead.

I was given a great life and my dad sacrificed so much for us and worked so hard so we can go on expensive vacations and have all out schooling paid for. He supports everything entrepreneurship stands for even though he never went that way him self. My WHY is to show him his hard work wasn't in vain.

 

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[pstchaseki]

i can only speak for myself.

iv'e had numerous factors why i procrastinated in the past. one of the big one for me was perfection. i wouldn't start unless i felt everything was perfect, lined up and ready to go. obviously, in doing so,i was actually self sabotaging myself. that is, never starting or putting anything into actual working action. i was only kidding myself to think that if i had all the resources and ideas lined up perfectly that everything would pan out without failure.

failure, that would be the next one...the cliche: fear of failure. rather than embracing failure and accepting it as part of the journey or endeavor in starting a business, i missed the point that it may very well take many failures to reach a goal. the only fear i should have is the consequence of never doing anything or putting fourth action. and i realize that most who do very well with accomplishing goals develops a healthy ignorance to any fear of the unknown. this confidence stems from their foundation that "success doesn't make them & failure doesn't break them". think about that statement.

as someone earlier mentioned, just doing it without any reason seems a bit pointless. the "why" must be answered. the reason i do it is for me, my life, and my 6 year daughter. what is your reason...your "why".

speaking of "why", the "what' must be answered after you discover the "why". what do you want to do about it now? what business? what is your plans and ideas? is it realistic and feasible? something that may very well be a unique solution that may be in high demand?

after the "what", next is the "how". given that you will go about it with unwavering relentless patience, diligence, persistence, calculated .... a-c-t-i-o-n, it's time to get out of that comfort zone and reach out & interact with those that can help you get there. process and implement all the right information. i truly believe that there is nothing more important than eventual face to face interaction with other people, whether they are partners, mentors, or customers.

there may be numerous others that can easily elaborate on everything i stated, and perhaps far better.... but going back to the bottom line of procrastination: if all you do is read about it, type about it(like me), talk about it, think about it, watch about it, join groups and forums, but never MOVE FORWARD - ACTION - EFFORT - DO IT- ACT ON IT.... one or two things will happen, YOU WILL STAY THE SAME or GET MUCH WORSE THAN YOU ARE TODAY.

achieving success and accomplishing goals is HARD. if it was easy everyone would be a success in everything they do. this world would be utopia.

it's hard to succeed but easy to fail.

thanks for reading mate.

 

[Zen Focus]

See things as they are, and accept the truth. This is important as well.

Many people ignore the truth, or choose to hide the truth of themselves, to themselves.

If you are able to realize that you are weak, right now, and you accept it, you'll honestly feel the pain of sucking at things and not let that feeling go.

That is what will create your drive.

That pain, that drive is going to push you to do things. And once you get productive, you'll start to feel exhausted when you're not. That habit of being productive will change your perception of things forever. All that's left is for you to embrace the truth of you.

You can't lie to yourself, and there is no reason to if you want success.

See things as they really are.

Be yourself, and be yourself truly, fully and deeply. Then act.

 

[Zen Focus]

I fully believe that pains and failures are what makes humans stronger.

People will continue to be average, until they feel pain and suffering so much, they have no way but to change.

When you feel all that is negative about yourself, don't attempt to ignore it. Feel it fully.

It will eventually turn into strength if you accept it, and act from there.

 

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[Steve Corcoran]

See things as they are, and accept the truth. This is important as well.

Many people ignore the truth, or choose to hide the truth of themselves, to themselves.

If you are able to realize that you are weak, right now, and you accept it, you'll honestly feel the pain of sucking at things and not let that feeling go.

That is what will create your drive.

That pain, that drive is going to push you to do things. And once you get productive, you'll start to feel exhausted when you're not. That habit of being productive will change your perception of things forever. All that's left is for you to embrace the truth of you.

You can't lie to yourself, and there is no reason to if you want success.

See things as they really are.

Be yourself, and be yourself truly, fully and deeply. Then act.

What do you mean by the truth? Seeing life for what it is? How do you take off the goggles that are your thoughts and perception.

 

[Rawr]

http://m.huffpost.com/us/entry/4269161?utm_hp_ref=fb&src=sp&comm_ref=false

"""""Everybody wants what feels good. Everyone wants to live a care-free, happy and easy life, to fall in love and have amazing sex and relationships, to look perfect and make money and be popular and well-respected and admired and a total baller to the point that people part like the Red Sea when you walk into the room.

Everybody wants that -- it's easy to want that.

If I ask you, "What do you want out of life?" and you say something like, "I want to be happy and have a great family and a job I like," it's so ubiquitous that it doesn't even mean anything.

Everyone wants that. So what's the point?

What's more interesting to me is what pain do you want? What are you willing to struggle for? Because that seems to be a greater determinant of how our lives end up.

Everybody wants to have an amazing job and financial independence -- but not everyone is willing to suffer through 60-hour work weeks, long commutes, obnoxious paperwork, to navigate arbitrary corporate hierarchies and the blasé confines of an infinite cubicle hell. People want to be rich without the risk, with the delayed gratification necessary to accumulate wealth.

Everybody wants to have great sex and an awesome relationship -- but not everyone is willing to go through the tough communication, the awkward silences, the hurt feelings and the emotional psychodrama to get there. And so they settle. They settle and wonder "What if?" for years and years and until the question morphs from "What if?" into "What for?" And when the lawyers go home and the alimony check is in the mail they say, "What was it all for?" If not for their lowered standards and expectations for themselves 20 years prior, then what for?

Because happiness requires struggle. You can only avoid pain for so long before it comes roaring back to life.

At the core of all human behavior, the good feelings we all want are more or less the same. Therefore what we get out of life is not determined by the good feelings we desire but by what bad feelings we're willing to sustain.

"Nothing good in life comes easy," we've been told that a hundred times before. The good things in life we accomplish are defined by where we enjoy the suffering, where we enjoy the struggle.

People want an amazing physique. But you don't end up with one unless you legitimately love the pain and physical stress that comes with living inside a gym for hour upon hour, unless you love calculating and calibrating the food you eat, planning your life out in tiny plate-sized portions.

People want to start their own business or become financially independent. But you don't end up a successful entrepreneur unless you find a way to love the risk, the uncertainty, the repeated failures, and working insane hours on something you have no idea whether will be successful or not. Some people are wired for that sort of pain, and those are the ones who succeed.

People want a boyfriend or girlfriend. But you don't end up attracting amazing people without loving the emotional turbulence that comes with weathering rejections, building the sexual tension that never gets released, and staring blankly at a phone that never rings. It's part of the game of love. You can't win if you don't play.

What determines your success is "What pain do you want to sustain?"

I wrote in an article last week that I've always loved the idea of being a surfer, yet I've never made consistent effort to surf regularly. Truth is: I don't enjoy the pain that comes with paddling until my arms go numb and having water shot up my nose repeatedly. It's not for me. The cost outweighs the benefit. And that's fine.

On the other hand, I am willing to live out of a suitcase for months on end, to stammer around in a foreign language for hours with people who speak no English to try and buy a cell phone, to get lost in new cities over and over and over again. Because that's the sort of pain and stress I enjoy sustaining. That's where my passion lies, not just in the pleasures, but in the stress and pain.

There's a lot of self development advice out there that says, "You've just got to want it enough!"

That's only partly true. Everybody wants something. And everybody wants something badly enough. They just aren't being honest with themselves about what they actually want that bad.

If you want the benefits of something in life, you have to also want the costs. If you want the six pack, you have to want the sweat, the soreness, the early mornings, and the hunger pangs. If you want the yacht, you have to also want the late nights, the risky business moves, and the possibility of pissing off a person or ten.

If you find yourself wanting something month after month, year after year, yet nothing happens and you never come any closer to it, then maybe what you actually want is a fantasy, an idealization, an image and a false promise. Maybe you don't actually want it at all.

So I ask you, "How are you willing to suffer?"

Because you have to choose something. You can't have a pain-free life. It can't all be roses and unicorns.

Choose how you are willing to suffer.

Because that's the hard question that matters. Pleasure is an easy question. And pretty much all of us have the same answer.

The more interesting question is the pain. What is the pain that you want to sustain?

Because that answer will actually get you somewhere. It's the question that can change your life. It's what makes me me and you you. It's what defines us and separates us and ultimately brings us together.

So what's it going to be?"""""