The Entrepreneur Forum | Financial Freedom | Starting a Business | Motivation | Money | Success

Welcome to the only entrepreneur forum dedicated to building life-changing wealth.

Build a Fastlane business. Earn real financial freedom. Join free.

Join over 80,000 entrepreneurs who have rejected the paradigm of mediocrity and said "NO!" to underpaid jobs, ascetic frugality, and suffocating savings rituals— learn how to build a Fastlane business that pays both freedom and lifestyle affluence.

Free registration at the forum removes this block.

[AMA] Personal Development - hardcore way

Anything related to matters of the mind

jarecki

Contributor
Speedway Pass
User Power
Value/Post Ratio
152%
Jun 22, 2013
50
76
Warsaw
I recently read a review of studies that refute this "contrary" approach. In fact, this approach can do more harm than good. The further a person is from actually being the thing he/she affirms, the more likely the affirmation will backfire. The reason is that it sets off the person's own BS meter, negating the underlying belief that is necessary for the affirmation to work.

This also aligns with Dan Sullivan's "Gap" theory, which, in a nutshell, states that the more we focus on the horizon/destination, the more we are reminded of how far we have to go to reach that destination, which leads to discouragement.

The studies showed that a more effective affirmative technique is the one similar to what author Noah St. John advocates. This technique affirms the state of "becoming" what one desires, rather than the destination/desired outcome. For example, if you are deep in debt, have never run a business, etc., it's more effective to repeat the affirmation "I am becoming a successful entrepreneur," rather than "I am a multi-millionaire."

Based on my personal experience using affirmations, I would agree with these studies. Any time I would affirm some grand desire, I never really believed it and ended up feeling crappy about having a pipe dream.
Maybe, I don't claim to be all-knowing guru. I'm sharing my point of view based on my experiences and you've got your right to disagree as a human being. Totally ok.
Jarecki, what do you think about REBT (Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy)? Have you heard about it?
Never heard of it, it's not very popular in my country.
I recorded an affirmation yesterday that goes "I am very proud of my work ethic. I always do what is right, and not what is easy."

Is that a good way to word it? I figured falling asleep with it playing might help so that's what I did last night. Is there any benefit to that? I've got it on my iPod and listen to it whenever I have down time.
If it works for you.
Some of the first affirmations I've been practicing were dull and long-sentenced, never really ticked me. I prefer shorter ones, their impact is more powerful because they usually "work" on more basal, deeper beliefs.
 
Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

tafy

Gold Contributor
Speedway Pass
User Power
Value/Post Ratio
116%
Aug 21, 2013
1,647
1,912
UK
Wow this is a great thread, since I read think and grow rich I believed what he said about the unconscious mind and that you feed it positive and negative thoughts. I have always been positive thinker and can turn nearly everything into a positive, I always have the ability to shrug off any negative people and comments especially from the family, some people take great pleasure of trying to put me down every chance they get.

I did once get depressed as I was feeding myself lots of negative thoughts like I will never have.... Family, gf, kids etc etc I come from a small town and choices are poor around here. Luckily I broke that shit cold turkey and moved country, worked a charm.

I will try that Silva method tonight, but I don't want to say things that are too crazy like I am the best salesman in the world , I will say things like I'm going to be a good salesman, I will help my clients succeed, they will not regret their decision to use my services.

What do you think of these statements and what else would you recommend I can do?
 

tafy

Gold Contributor
Speedway Pass
User Power
Value/Post Ratio
116%
Aug 21, 2013
1,647
1,912
UK
So I tried countdown and I fell asleep before getting to 80, tried a few times in the night also. Good way to get to sleep tho
 
Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

AndrewNC

Limitless
Read Fastlane!
Read Unscripted!
Speedway Pass
User Power
Value/Post Ratio
433%
Nov 14, 2011
2,486
10,752
Thanks for the AMA. I've been a student of personal development for years, and I've been wanting to write a book about the processes I've found to help in picking one's self up after/during heavy life mistakes and struggles (like, dealing with depression and the consequences of addiction). It's mainly comprised of lessons and strategies from all over the personal development sphere.

I believe the info I want to provide to be very solid, but, having no credentials, I'm struggling to figure out how to present it so that it's not immediately dismissed before one even digests the material.

I intend to publish anonymously, as I have no intention of trying to build a "guru" brand around myself. Any advice?

I published a book about the limiting beliefs/mental obstacles I overcame of the last three years as an entrepreneur.
  • No credibility.
  • People may say that three years is not a lot of experience.
  • They may dismiss it before they read it.
...but one thing is for certain. I know for a fact that 100% of what I wrote about helped me get to a better place in my life. I genuinely put information that worked for me, AND has worked for others in my writing.

I published it. And a few of my friends give me constructive feedback. The book needs more work. But it is out in the market to see how it helps people.

Publish from the heart, with information that you know will help people...and adjust based on the feedback.

You could have this book out in a week. Don't worry about the rest.
 

John Page

New Contributor
User Power
Value/Post Ratio
40%
Jul 7, 2014
20
8
Argentina
Never heard of it, it's not very popular in my country.

Thanks for your reply.

I don't want to hijack your thread, but I think many forum users could benefit from this information. So here it goes.

REBT is one of the best techniques to stop irrational ideas/thinking. These are my own words, maybe not very accurate. They claim that most of the human sufferings come from our demands towards reality, the universe, life, whatever. And when our demands are not met. We, like spoiled children go into tantrums, anger, etc. These techniques, when turned into a habit, can make you emotionally more stable. This is my experience. And the thing I like the most is that it constantly challenges its own ideas. It's the most scientific minded therapy I can think of. I find dogmatic thinking to be one of the greatest diseases that affect humanity.

This is a quote from their website: "REBT is an action-oriented psychotherapy that teaches individuals to identify, challenge, and replace their self-defeating thoughts and beliefs with healthier thoughts that promote emotional well-being and goal achievement."

I used a book called Three Minute Therapy, which I found to be 100% action oriented and the benefits are there when it becomes a habit.

I hope this helps someone. Cheers!
 

pickeringmt

Gold Contributor
FASTLANE INSIDER
Read Fastlane!
Speedway Pass
User Power
Value/Post Ratio
364%
Apr 24, 2014
562
2,044
39
What do you still struggle with the most?
 
Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

Jakeeck

Silver Contributor
Read Fastlane!
Speedway Pass
User Power
Value/Post Ratio
198%
Jun 24, 2014
370
731
33
Phoenix, Arizona
Thanks for your reply.

I don't want to hijack your thread, but I think many forum users could benefit from this information. So here it goes.

REBT is one of the best techniques to stop irrational ideas/thinking. These are my own words, maybe not very accurate. They claim that most of the human sufferings come from our demands towards reality, the universe, life, whatever. And when our demands are not met. We, like spoiled children go into tantrums, anger, etc. These techniques, when turned into a habit, can make you emotionally more stable. This is my experience. And the thing I like the most is that it constantly challenges its own ideas. It's the most scientific minded therapy I can think of. I find dogmatic thinking to be one of the greatest diseases that affect humanity.

This is a quote from their website: "REBT is an action-oriented psychotherapy that teaches individuals to identify, challenge, and replace their self-defeating thoughts and beliefs with healthier thoughts that promote emotional well-being and goal achievement."

I used a book called Three Minute Therapy, which I found to be 100% action oriented and the benefits are there when it becomes a habit.

I hope this helps someone. Cheers!

That's pretty much what every self-help book preaches.. replace negative thoughts with positive ones. Have you read Think and Grow Rich or Psycho-Cybernetics?
 

FastNAwesome

Gold Contributor
Read Fastlane!
Read Unscripted!
Speedway Pass
User Power
Value/Post Ratio
117%
May 23, 2011
1,116
1,301
If I may jump in...

I recorded an affirmation yesterday that goes "I am very proud of my work ethic. I always do what is right, and not what is easy."

Some say affirmations just work. But there's another school of thought which says, if you don't 100% believe your affirmation, it will be rejected as BS, and that affirmations should be something that you know is true right now. For example, imagine someone totally out of shape starting to work out, and affirming:

"I have a perfect body and a perfect health"

or

"I am starting to feel the benefits of my workout. It does me good and I will keep going." ...and then a month later
"I am starting to see some of my muscles and I feel better than ever. I enjoy shaping my body and bettering my health and will continue to take it further."

The first one would be complete BS. While the second would be true and thus easy to affirm.
The first one if pressuring, it requires everything now. The second one is motivating,
supporting the good step taken today and encouraging the person to take another tomorrow.
 

John Page

New Contributor
User Power
Value/Post Ratio
40%
Jul 7, 2014
20
8
Argentina
That's pretty much what every self-help book preaches.. replace negative thoughts with positive ones. Have you read Think and Grow Rich or Psycho-Cybernetics?

Yes. I agree. Many of these concepts come from the beginning of humanity, from before we even wrote books.

But, one of the differences I see with REBT is that you challenge limiting beliefs in real time in everyday life, as they occur. Not in a specific allotted time. It's a protocol you follow when you encounter an idea that is making you upset/angry, whatever.

It has its own limitations. For example: if it's 7 pm already and you have exhausted all your cognitive budget (this type of mental energy that gives you will power), then, you will not have more energy to challenge anything. You will most likely fall into your habitual patterns. This is the time I break my nutritional commitments.

I don't mean to say that affirmations or other things don't work. Not at all.

I practice everyday personal mix of mental habits. Mostly from a formula that I found very adaptable to my own personality. It's from a book called Executive Toughness:

1. Breathe in 6 sec, hold 2, exhale 7, hold 2. Repeat. (It usually takes me 4-6 of these cycles)
2. Personal Mantra (It's just affirmations. "Progressive" affirmations work for me "Everyday I'm getting stronger" instead of
"I'm strong". My mind violently rejects affirmations like that.
3. Visualization of your life in 5 years having achieved your Product Goals (I sometimes see myself in 12 months, when I feel that 5 years
does not produce a strong emotion).
4. Visualization of your upcoming day, doing your Process Goals.
5. Personal Mantra again.
6. Repeat Breathing pattern.

This takes me around 6-8 minutes.

The author divides goals in:

Product Goal: This is the end result you want. (Lose 30 pounds, make 1 million dollars by X date).

Process Goals: Each Product Goal has a certain amount of daily activities that will make this product goal a reality. These are called Process Goals. Usually 2-3 process goals.


Also, yes. I have read both books you mention. They are absolute classics. My personal problem is avoiding execution by absorbing information 24/7.
 
Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

Jakeeck

Silver Contributor
Read Fastlane!
Speedway Pass
User Power
Value/Post Ratio
198%
Jun 24, 2014
370
731
33
Phoenix, Arizona
Yes. I agree. Many of these concepts come from the beginning of humanity, from before we even wrote books.

But, one of the differences I see with REBT is that you challenge limiting beliefs in real time in everyday life, as they occur. Not in a specific allotted time. It's a protocol you follow when you encounter an idea that is making you upset/angry, whatever.

It has its own limitations. For example: if it's 7 pm already and you have exhausted all your cognitive budget (this type of mental energy that gives you will power), then, you will not have more energy to challenge anything. You will most likely fall into your habitual patterns. This is the time I break my nutritional commitments.

I don't mean to say that affirmations or other things don't work. Not at all.

I practice everyday personal mix of mental habits. Mostly from a formula that I found very adaptable to my own personality. It's from a book called Executive Toughness:

1. Breathe in 6 sec, hold 2, exhale 7, hold 2. Repeat. (It usually takes me 4-6 of these cycles)
2. Personal Mantra (It's just affirmations. "Progressive" affirmations work for me "Everyday I'm getting stronger" instead of
"I'm strong". My mind violently rejects affirmations like that.
3. Visualization of your life in 5 years having achieved your Product Goals (I sometimes see myself in 12 months, when I feel that 5 years
does not produce a strong emotion).
4. Visualization of your upcoming day, doing your Process Goals.
5. Personal Mantra again.
6. Repeat Breathing pattern.

This takes me around 6-8 minutes.

The author divides goals in:

Product Goal: This is the end result you want. (Lose 30 pounds, make 1 million dollars by X date).

Process Goals: Each Product Goal has a certain amount of daily activities that will make this product goal a reality. These are called Process Goals. Usually 2-3 process goals.


Also, yes. I have read both books you mention. They are absolute classics. My personal problem is avoiding execution by absorbing information 24/7.

Sounds interesting.. can you explain a little more about the part where you exhaust your cognitive budget? This happens to me quite often and then I feel like my progress is set back about 5 days every time it happens. So you do those 6 steps whenever you "hit the wall?"
 

jarecki

Contributor
Speedway Pass
User Power
Value/Post Ratio
152%
Jun 22, 2013
50
76
Warsaw
Wow this is a great thread, since I read think and grow rich I believed what he said about the unconscious mind and that you feed it positive and negative thoughts. I have always been positive thinker and can turn nearly everything into a positive, I always have the ability to shrug off any negative people and comments especially from the family, some people take great pleasure of trying to put me down every chance they get.

I did once get depressed as I was feeding myself lots of negative thoughts like I will never have.... Family, gf, kids etc etc I come from a small town and choices are poor around here. Luckily I broke that shit cold turkey and moved country, worked a charm.

I will try that Silva method tonight, but I don't want to say things that are too crazy like I am the best salesman in the world , I will say things like I'm going to be a good salesman, I will help my clients succeed, they will not regret their decision to use my services.

What do you think of these statements and what else would you recommend I can do?
Can I be super-honest? If it makes you tick, it works.
Affirmation is only for you, it has to push the right button still being 'compatible' with your core values. Don't want to write a long story, the thing is, the more it feels compelling to you, the better it works. It's really simple :)
So do you count again from 100 to 1?
Nope, 100 to 1 and you feel more and more relaxed.
What do you still struggle with the most?
Right now with finding a need in the market. And some dating issues. I used to be really good with it but now I lost it. Need some time to repair some things in my life after I grow a profitable company.
Also, yes. I have read both books you mention. They are absolute classics. My personal problem is avoiding execution by absorbing information 24/7
To be honest, same here. Now I'm looking for a need to fill.
 

John Page

New Contributor
User Power
Value/Post Ratio
40%
Jul 7, 2014
20
8
Argentina
Sounds interesting.. can you explain a little more about the part where you exhaust your cognitive budget? This happens to me quite often and then I feel like my progress is set back about 5 days every time it happens. So you do those 6 steps whenever you "hit the wall?"

I'd suggest that you search online for the concept of cognitive budget. I don't think I'm up to the task. If I had to explain what I got from what I read, it would be this:

It's based on new evidence that support the old idea of prioritizing the priorities. Which means doing the things that need more will power first thing in the day, one after the other. Before your will power is consumed as it does on a daily basis. It seems to be a finite tank that refills every night. Also, making pre-defined decisions about things that consume will power but are not important. E.g.: wearing the same clothes over and over, eating the same foods over and over, and so on.

Cheers!
 
Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

need2learn14

New Contributor
Read Fastlane!
User Power
Value/Post Ratio
47%
Feb 18, 2014
15
7
I have a question on mindfulness. I have started mindfullness meditation where i practice breathing in and out counting my breaths for twenty minutes. As well as trying to use mindfullness in my daily activities.

My issue is when Im breathing I focus on trying to keep myself focused on breathing if that makes sense.

Its hard for me to just count the breathes. Im contually saying my head" focus on breath"because if I dont my mind wanders.

Is this mindfullness? And if not how do fix this issue.

Sent from my SAMSUNG using Tapatalk 2
 

jarecki

Contributor
Speedway Pass
User Power
Value/Post Ratio
152%
Jun 22, 2013
50
76
Warsaw
Have you heard about Landmark Forum? What's your opinion about it? I've heard a lot of praise about it and one of my friend joined but I'm not sure if it really works for him.
No, I haven't. But I certainly sense a business right here.

I have a question on mindfulness. I have started mindfullness meditation where i practice breathing in and out counting my breaths for twenty minutes. As well as trying to use mindfullness in my daily activities.

My issue is when Im breathing I focus on trying to keep myself focused on breathing if that makes sense.

Its hard for me to just count the breathes. Im contually saying my head" focus on breath"because if I dont my mind wanders.

Is this mindfullness? And if not how do fix this issue.

Sent from my SAMSUNG using Tapatalk 2
Being mindful is about being conscious of what are you doing right now, focusing your attention on your breath (without repeating anything in your thoughts) or part of your body.

Your issue is not an issue. You're learning, it's a process. Keep doing what you're doing.
 
Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.
R

redshep

Guest
1. Having absorbed this information, do you have a cynical view as if it's all vaguely true and therefore basically of little value because the same techniques resurface again and again?

2. I'm sure you're on a million mailing lists because of your experience. Have you noticed any interesting techniques they use to market to you?
 

jarecki

Contributor
Speedway Pass
User Power
Value/Post Ratio
152%
Jun 22, 2013
50
76
Warsaw
2. I'm sure you're on a million mailing lists because of your experience. Have you noticed any interesting techniques they use to market to you?
Nah. In my country people don't really know how to market self-dev (yes, it's a need to be solved, be welcome to use it). When I learned copywriting suddenly I've realized how simple (and mostly uneffective) ways they utilize.

TOP-level marketers use a mailing list and a webinar. No tripwire, no funnel. If there is a funnel, it becomes a funnel accidentally.

1. Having absorbed this information, do you have a cynical view as if it's all vaguely true and therefore basically of little value because the same techniques resurface again and again?
Kind of. My facebook profile is basically being spammed with training and coaching offers.
And you've just hit a bull's eye with the little value issue. I just hate when I'm invited for another coaching/seminar/webinar on Retrieving Your True Self/Planning Your Dream Career/Intense Introduction to Basics of Hypnosis (that's my favorite, a marketing genius) and all I can see is VERY LITTLE VALUE in what these people do. Okay, if you're new to this Self-dev thing, this may even be good for you in some way or you'll be infotained and sold to.

I understand this is a business and it has to be run as a business, but I'm really sad when I see those people who attend "free webinars" seeking for gold advice, a shortcut how to change their life or (if they're smart) how to pick authors brain while being sold to. Listen to me, I've been there, I've done that, there's nothing there!

When we go to school, someone should told us "There is no shortcuts, stick to it and work your butt off" and I should have listened.

There is no golden pill. Everything is hard when it's new for you. And there's a frickin' metric TON of new things to learn being an entrepreneur.

It's not easy. It's not meant to be.
 

jarecki

Contributor
Speedway Pass
User Power
Value/Post Ratio
152%
Jun 22, 2013
50
76
Warsaw
What is the greatest driving force behind our actions?
You should answer that for yourself. I think you're asking because you're looking for an answer for your own.

From scientific point of view it is told our actions concentrate on getting pleasure and avoiding pain. In my humble opinion we seek in our lives gaps to fill. If you never had a decent car and you always wanted one, you'll be a car fan. If you never had girls, you'll chase them. If you never had money, you'll chase it. You get the point.
How can I decrease procrastination and increase productivity?
Definitely [HASHTAG]#NoFap[/HASHTAG] Challenge. It can change your day-to-day behavior even if you're stuck in a shitty 9-5 job living in crappy conditions with no spare money. It's probably the best thing you can do right now.

Make everything what matters to you a habit. Reading, learning, working, hitting the gym, make it consistent. Read about kaizen and find @MJ DeMarco 's post on kaizen. Looks little, but it's huge.

This + gym + zinc supplementation gives mi huge and lasting energy boost. Diet or generally eating clean is another gem. Little sugar or no at all, more protein and vegetables.
 

Post New Topic

Please SEARCH before posting.
Please select the BEST category.

Post new topic

Guest post submissions offered HERE.

New Topics

Fastlane Insiders

View the forum AD FREE.
Private, unindexed content
Detailed process/execution threads
Ideas needing execution, more!

Join Fastlane Insiders.

Top