How do you behave when finally rich? (but your friends aren't)

[Worldisyours]

This. Just keep it quiet.... quiet money... I've been up, and down. One lesson I learned when I was up was that you don't need or want unwanted attention. Got to the point where I would hide the car and avoid answering questions like what I did last weekend. Keep your money in the bank and just be yourself.

very good

 

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[JahvonCreamCone]

Alty. I haven't read the previous posts but I have experienced this personally. You do a little bit of both. Your best friends will know you sold for millions, but don't let that change how you act/behave or how they treat you. True friends are not going to act like gold diggers. If you want to spend your money do it.

I just made 10k thats not a lot, but I am 19, I told maybe 2 people because I know if I told others it would just change how they think of me. How do I know this, cause one of the people I told my best friends for me just got pissed at me for it, than said in a joking manner to get her a horse. Was she kidding, perhaps, but secretly she envied me.

So be careful. Be very careful. Don't let wealth define who you are. And please, (if you are a guy) do not, and I can not stress this enough, use your money to pick up girls. They dont give a shit. Don't one-up people in conversation, literally just be yourself before you got rich. Was everything about you and money, no you had a personality, so why should that change.

Also please take me skydiving in dubai. haha I just went recently check my photo I was in NJ skyline I could see NYC it was gorgeous. Going again when I get back to tampa!!

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Hey Michael, great advice. What exactly do you do? And congrats on the income man

 

[SteveO]

There is no real difference. We have a very large social group that we do a lot of things with. We went to the casino last night for crab legs and some gaming. We know this group through softball.

Money rarely comes up in conversation. Nobody from this group of about 15 has ever asked for money or treated us differently than anyone else in the group.

Our family is a bit different. We get asked for money on occasion and handle it on a case-by-case basis. Not an issue though.

Why do you need to take people with you when you travel? Is that important? If so, then work that out one trip at a time.

I don't really see anything different. Why would you lose people that you have activities in common with? Money should not be a reason unless you make it one.

I don't think our friends look up to us because we have money. I certainly don't look down at them. We should not have a reason to look down on ANYBODY! I know this statement is controversial but it is how I feel.

 

[SteveO]

When it's tough, you'll know who loves you

I agree with your post in general. This part is irrelevant though. As long as you love yourself and give yourself respect, the rest does not matter.

 

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[Paleo]

Don't understand why the OP is wasting any mental energy or the time to make a thread on this question

Unless this will shortly and realistically be a problem for you seems like it's just fantasizing to me

Chickens before they're hatched, cart before the horse etc

 

[smarty]

But then: Let's say you make it. You reach your target, sell your company and you're finally a millionaire. This must sure have a huge impact on the relationship you have with your friends. So then how do you behave?

This question is like a mental diarrhea. First step: get rich. Second step: figure out how to behave after that.

 

[Erik Heyl]

Just be you. And be unapologetic for being able to live your dreams and life by your own design. It's been my experience that most can do this, they've just been condition not to reach for it.

 

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[CarrieW]

I have some feelings on this subject

I can imagine that once I have "made it" there will be a lot more people around me who want to be my "friends"... not happening

I have a very select list of people who are family to me (by blood or choice) and they will never need anything for as long as I can provide, and a smaller list of lifelong friends that I would be willing to help.

I do not make friends with anyone or allow people to stick around (family or not) who are of the what have you done for me lately kind into my circles. being disabled long term tends to weed those kinds of people out anyway

there are a handful of people who really made a huge difference in my life personally who I plan on gifting anonymously to.

theres also another list of people I wouldn't piss on if they were on fire but that's a different story

I can say with confidence that the people in my lists will stay in their lists and wont be going anywhere. no matter what the balance in my accounts happen to be

new people can apply and are added and sorted depending on how they treat me

 

[Cybria]

Don't understand why the OP is wasting any mental energy or the time to make a thread on this question

Unless this will shortly and realistically be a problem for you seems like it's just fantasizing to me

Chickens before they're hatched, cart before the horse etc

This question is like a mental diarrhea. First step: get rich. Second step: figure out how to behave after that.

I'd say it's a legitimate concern. Some of us, consciously or subconsciously, avoid doing anything that would alienate us from the people around us. I remember reading the account of one very successful author, who came from a small mining town. After his success, in trying to keep with his roots, he'd always go out and get filthy drunk with his old comrades. His reasoning, as he realized later, was that no one could ask him "Just who do you think you are?" if he's keeled over outside a dive bar, vomiting on his shoes.
It's just human nature. For the most part we're social creatures who aren't too fond of change. So I'd like to think that it's safe to open up and ask questions like this, so that the mind can no longer use the fear of alienation to sabotage our efforts.

 

[Nadia]

Very thought provocative thread.

I have made money. Lost it all. And made it again. There are different types of people I have found. By default, a very famous internet marketer that I know personally told me that by default, people dropped out of her life because they found her too "obsessed" with working. I always say "good riddance".

From personal experience, I ditched my "best friend" of 8 years last month. Does that sound cold? Probably. The reason ? Oh. Well, she decided to have a child at 23, blame the world that her marriage hasn't worked out, do absolutely effing nothing with her life, moan, whinge and complain that she's bitterly poor and has family problems (we all do, newsflash) and blame, blame, blame the world for it. She DRAINED my life force energy to a point, I resented speaking to her because she was clingy, annoying and needy. My phone still blows up with her nonsense. I simply ignore it.

So that's an extreme. But as you start to acquire wealth, you WILL change. I don't know which idiot keeps telling people "you will stay the same".

YOU WON'T.

Money changes your station in life. I have made 5 figures a month and I have been flat broke where I didn't know where I was going to live fromwhen my company went bust , and let me be the first to tell you HOW different my choices have been in behaviour, attitude, outlook, clothing, food, dining and life experience. Whilst broke made me the woman I am today because it taught me self sufficiency and reliance, also money emotion control---I chose the rich life.

I haven't changed character wise however, a single bit. I am still caring, genuine, kind and very loving and no amount of money will reverse or switch that. When you acquire money, you WILL leave a LOT of people behind not because you're an inconsiderate selfish bitch/bastard who has forgotten where they came from (I HATE that phrase, it keeps you broke and locked towing the line), but because they don't understand your paradigm shift anymore.

As I ascend higher to my calling, I expect MORE current folk to drop out of my life and WONDERFUL new people to join me! I am excited for all the fabulously amazing people I am going to meet

So, to answer your question in a nutshell. There are VERY few friends who will stay the course without seething with envy, rage and jealousy for getting the results that you put in the hard work for, and they didn't.

 

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[Magik]

You become like the people you spend the most time with. Choose only extraordinary people.

I live by this.

Exactly. They can only help you go higher. What the herd doesn't understand is that you have to be rich internally before you can be rich externally. The one's who get lucky and get the money first usually lose it.

I have very few friends, simply because I can't relate to anyone. You are my friends, even though I have met none of you, because you understand. I can't even put into words how my mindset has changed over the last 6 months, the result of hanging out here and paying attention. It's an education you can't get in a classroom or at the bar with your friends. But, it's also an education you have to live and back it up with action.

I have a general rule I live by: look at what the herd is doing, then go the other direction. In the opposite direction you will find the outliers, the one's you should be listening to and modeling yourself after.

The point? Hang out with the outliers and the mavericks, the one's doing something different than the herd, and... AIM SKY HIGH, there's no reason not to.

 

[jazb]

Exactly. They can only help you go higher. What the herd doesn't understand is that you have to be rich internally before you can be rich externally. The one's who get lucky and get the money first usually lose it.

I have very few friends, simply because I can't relate to anyone. You are my friends, even though I have met none of you, because you understand. I can't even put into words how my mindset has changed over the last 6 months, the result of hanging out here and paying attention. It's an education you can't get in a classroom or at the bar with your friends. But, it's also an education you have to live and back it up with action.

I have a general rule I live by: look at what the herd is doing, then go the other direction. In the opposite direction you will find the outliers, the one's you should be listening to and modeling yourself after.

The point? Hang out with the outliers and the mavericks, the one's doing something different than the herd, and... AIM SKY HIGH, there's no reason not to.

This is precisely why I made a massive skype group chat.

Company is everything. i've seen the smartest, happiest kids with a fantastic upbringing turn to drugs simply because they got in with the wrong crowd. likewise I have seen kids with terrible upbringing and average intelligence do very well for themselves, simply because they stuck with the right group of people.

They say you are the average of your 5 closest friends. I say network on here and become good friends with other fastlaners. You will see a great change in your mindset over time.

 

[chrisbiz4444]

Here's a question I've had in my mind from the day I started considering 'the good life' as possible:

Obviously, not every entrepreneur has friends and family who think alike. Many of us have spent evenings at the bar trying to talk people out of their jobs. Most of the times, however, this just doesn't work, and they stick with what they believe. So we continue pursuing our goals alone.

But then: Let's say you make it. You reach your target, sell your company and you're finally a millionaire. This must sure have a huge impact on the relationship you have with your friends. So then how do you behave? Do you try to keep your wealth secret ("Yeah I just sold the company for a couple thousand dollars"), or do you share your wealth with them in any way? I, for example, would love to go sky diving in Dubai and bring my friends along. Do you try to help them start a business as well? Do you just dump them, or do they dump you? Do you find new friends who are wealthy?

Having a lot of money must be awesome, but not having any friends (except maybe a spouse) to share the good times with must suck...

I'm curious to find out how you all handle this (or how you would, if you made it big one day)![/quote)

Becoming rich is a process. You will change and evolve during that process ( For the better) So you may not even want to be around your old friends once you go through that change. Not because your an a$$ but because you simply can not relate to them and you no longer share the same interest.

I am still not even halfway through my process and I have changed dramatically. My life gets better every single day. Sometimes you don't even realize some " Friends" are actually holding you back with a bunch of negative energy. However you may have good friends and that's cool too. In that case throw them a ladder up and give them a hand in making their life great. This is rewarding. But only if they are ready. You cant help someone who doesn't want to help themselves.

 

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[chrisbiz4444]

Don't understand why the OP is wasting any mental energy or the time to make a thread on this question

Unless this will shortly and realistically be a problem for you seems like it's just fantasizing to me

Chickens before they're hatched, cart before the horse etc

I haven't had this issue personally but I hear some people don't take action because they are scared to become rich. This thread may or may not have been started for that reason.

 

[chrisbiz4444]

Becoming rich is a process. You will change and evolve during that process ( For the better) So you may not even want to be around your old friends once you go through that change. Not because your an a$$ but because you simply can not relate to them and you no longer share the same interest.

I am still not even halfway through my process and I have changed dramatically. My life gets better every single day. Sometimes you don't even realize some " Friends" are actually holding you back with a bunch of negative energy. However you may have good friends and that's cool too. In that case throw them a ladder up and give them a hand in making their life great. This is rewarding. But only if they are ready. You cant help someone who doesn't want to help themselves.

 

[Formless]

has forgotten where they came from (I HATE that phrase, it keeps you broke and locked towing the line)

+1

I always say that 'don't forget where you came from' is what losers say to others to maintain company.

 

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[liquidglass]

It has very little to do with the zeros in your bank balance.

It has everything to do with how you grow personally to achieve the wealth you have acquired.

I love your point here. This is something Brian Tracy speaks about extensively. It's about the journey and who you become along the way that is the most important. As money magnifies who you become then it will magnify who you have become along your journey.

Most people will say that you "don't care" or "you're too good for them" usually this occurs when they see an opportunity to get money from you and you refuse or don't offer like they believe you should. These same people will also never ask for advice on how to reach a higher status in life. They don't want something that requires work from them, they expect the world (aka you) to give them what you have because you have more than they do.

As Zig Ziglar says the best way to help poor people, is not to become one of them.

You do behave differently when you've achieved what you or others believe is a 'wealthy' status, not because you don't need them anymore. In truth you may not want them to be an influence in your life (they don't get this, thus their position in life). But you act differently as a direct result of seeing the world from a different perspective. On the journey I mentioned above you raise yourself above the mediocrity financially and mentally. It doesn't mean you see yourself as better than anyone, you simply have a more refined perspective, which leads you to value your time and guard your mind against the petty drama that others may enjoy being involved in.


When I started down my path it was met with negativity from my parents (I have a Masters, I should find a "good job") the negativity of course was the direct result of my excitement that I openly shared along with the lofty goals I (mistakenly) openly shared at the time. It challenged their world perspective to the point that they could only throw up a brick wall rather than attempt to relate. When I started seeing success and coming into a better financial position I also (mistakenly) shared this openly with family. Suddenly the negativity disappeared and greed took it's place. All of this is a direct result of my not knowing any better than to share it all and expect them to be just as excited for me. To correct this and to remove negative influences from my life I have cut off all communication with people like this. Save for the occasional holiday card. They added no value to my life and the only value I could add to theirs (from their perspective) was financial.

note: this is what leads people to say "you're too good for them" or "you've forgotten where you came from." (I didn't forget but I don't want to be there anymore and I'm going to make sure it doesn't happen again)

When you become a dollar sign to people that's when it's time to cut ties and move on. Plain and simple.

So when you've achieved wealth you do behave differently. You don't define yourself by your bank account and you don't allow others to either by not sharing goals, dreams, account balance with them. You can respect them, love them, care for them but you must separate this from your finances.

 

[GlobalWealth]

I love your point here. This is something Brian Tracy speaks about extensively. It's about the journey and who you become along the way that is the most important. As money magnifies who you become then it will magnify who you have become along your journey.

Most people will say that you "don't care" or "you're too good for them" usually this occurs when they see an opportunity to get money from you and you refuse or don't offer like they believe you should. These same people will also never ask for advice on how to reach a higher status in life. They don't want something that requires work from them, they expect the world (aka you) to give them what you have because you have more than they do.

As Zig Ziglar says the best way to help poor people, is not to become one of them.

You do behave differently when you've achieved what you or others believe is a 'wealthy' status, not because you don't need them anymore. In truth you may not want them to be an influence in your life (they don't get this, thus their position in life). But you act differently as a direct result of seeing the world from a different perspective. On the journey I mentioned above you raise yourself above the mediocrity financially and mentally. It doesn't mean you see yourself as better than anyone, you simply have a more refined perspective, which leads you to value your time and guard your mind against the petty drama that others may enjoy being involved in.


When I started down my path it was met with negativity from my parents (I have a Masters, I should find a "good job") the negativity of course was the direct result of my excitement that I openly shared along with the lofty goals I (mistakenly) openly shared at the time. It challenged their world perspective to the point that they could only throw up a brick wall rather than attempt to relate. When I started seeing success and coming into a better financial position I also (mistakenly) shared this openly with family. Suddenly the negativity disappeared and greed took it's place. All of this is a direct result of my not knowing any better than to share it all and expect them to be just as excited for me. To correct this and to remove negative influences from my life I have cut off all communication with people like this. Save for the occasional holiday card. They added no value to my life and the only value I could add to theirs (from their perspective) was financial.

note: this is what leads people to say "you're too good for them" or "you've forgotten where you came from." (I didn't forget but I don't want to be there anymore and I'm going to make sure it doesn't happen again)

When you become a dollar sign to people that's when it's time to cut ties and move on. Plain and simple.

So when you've achieved wealth you do behave differently. You don't define yourself by your bank account and you don't allow others to either by not sharing goals, dreams, account balance with them. You can respect them, love them, care for them but you must separate this from your finances.

Great post. Very well said.

I've experienced a lot of what you talked about here as well. it seems as long as you travel down a path preapproved by your family and not too out of the realm of your friends you are still in their sphere of influence.

But once you do something they disapprove or shows too much success, you become the outsider. Suddenly you are the one who has pushed them away. In reality their own greed, jealously and feelings of inadequacy have taken over and ruled their own emotions.

Its a pity they cannot be happy for your growth and success. But in many cases it is reality.